As the East Side Turns …

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Posted May 24, 2006 by Static in News

Supporters of the independent-minded Louis McBee were heartbroken when he was narrowly defeated by the establishment-backed Danny Scarth in the District 4 city council race on May 13.


Both candidates sought to fill Becky Haskin’s unexpired term after the blonde bomber resigned to seek a justice of the peace position – and lost. Haskin saw herself as a political dynamo with high-powered endorsements and probably envisioned becoming state rep, senator, or maybe even the first woman president someday. Nothing stalls a political career faster than losing some piss-ant election to a politically neophyte Bible-thumping cop. Anyhoo, McBee supporters are smiling again. Their irascible candidate has filed for a recount after hearing of problems with the electronic voting system.

Whine and Noses

Opinions vary when it comes to property tax freezes for seniors. A group of old folks in Tarrant County is currently petitioning for an election on that issue, causing much gnashing of molars among county officials, who fret about the impact on budgets and services. But seniors hit a nerve when they talk about dodging school taxes. “I’m paying school taxes and I haven’t had any kids in school for 20 years,” a senior complained to Static recently.

Well, quit cryin’ in your prune juice, folks. A highly scientific poll shows that, like thousands of other folks out there, none of the Weekly’s full-time editorial staffers has any children. (Part-timers were ignored to make the math come out right.) So, it appears, Static and its child-free friends help put all those seniors’ brats through school over the years. And are they complaining? No! (Well, they complain a lot, but not about taxes.) After all, Static wants all those snot-nosed kids to be educated snot-nosers. Think about it – somebody’s got to hold down a job and pay taxes and keep the guvamint wheels turning when Static gets even older and crankier than it is now.

Vanity, Thy Name is Mud

Green is now the favorite color of the rich and famous. If you don’t believe it, check out Vanity Fair’s “Special Green Issue” this month on global warming, with a cover shot of a very pale Julia Roberts dressed in shiny green silk, a wreath of green leaves entwined in her long brown hair.

Never mind that Roberts looks more like Ophelia just dredged up from the pond than Mother Earth – Static has nothing against the advertising glossy getting into environmental reporting, but for Earth’s sake, it ought to get its facts straight. In a suck-up section on all the famous government, entertainment, and corporate types committed to blue skies, VF gave kudos to Lord John Browne, CEO of British Petroleum, as a “committed environmentalist,” whose company has reduced its greenhouse gases “by 10 percent since 1990.” Say what?

In the same month that the VF issue hit the stands, the EPA announced that BP’s toxic emissions from its giant refinery in Texas City – you recall that one; it blew up last year killing 15 workers – had increased by 210 percent, making it the nation’s “worst polluting plant.”

Static is available (cheap) as a fact-checker if VF will just call.


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