Hooray for Us, Dammit

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Posted August 30, 2006 by Static in News

Did you see that report by Men’s Health magazine that made friendly ol’ Fort Worth look like some crazed city filled with kitty stranglers?


Jerkwad researchers crunched numbers regarding assaults, traffic congestion, and the percentage of men with high blood pressure and came up with America’s 100 angriest cities. Fort Worth is No. 29. Supposedly we’re angrier than gridlocked Los Angeles (36) and the land of incessant rain and suicides, Seattle (47). Even a city overrun by rats, muggers, and taxicabs is peaches and cream compared to us – New York City (57). You could live surrounded by dockworkers, labor strife, and Mafiosos and be happy as a pig in slop in Jersey City (70). For chrissakes, Philadelphia (27) is only slightly angrier than us, and they hate Santa Claus. On a positive note, scumbag Dallas (16) is angrier than us, so put that in your hoity-toity pipe and smoke it. The angriest city of all is … drumroll please, moron … Orlando. Makes sense. Mickey Mouse has no soul, and Minnie’s a tramp. (And for the really sobering report, check out Last Call, page 39, for the tipsy-city list.)

Fido, With Blinders

The “watchdog” journalists at Fort Worth Star-Telegram are remarkably similar to the watchdog that guards Static’s home – lazy, inattentive, and mostly content to sleep all day. The newspaper printed a lengthy story on Aug. 26 questioning the ethics of Tarrant County Commissioner Roy Brooks after he wrote a letter on county stationery urging gas companies to consider a business relationship with his longtime friend Leonard Briscoe.

Brooks has been around politics long enough to know he was treading on shaky ethical ground; he ought to kick himself for using poor judgment. But his actions were a far cry from the ethical lapses committed by other politicians recently, which the Star-T ignored. For instance, former City Councilwoman Becky Haskin sat in on private meetings with gas drilling officials to discuss leasing mineral rights from residents in her Woodhaven neighborhood; she gave her stamp of approval to the gas company and urged residents to consider its proposal. Later, residents were furious to learn that no competitive bidding had occurred, and the gas company had promised up to $90,000 to Haskin’s pet nonprofit group, Woodhaven Community Development. Haskin later appointed Danny Scarth as her district rep on a gas drilling task force, and his actions throughout the meetings showed an allegiance to the oil and gas industry. Scarth later sought election to Haskin’s vacated council seat and listed Larry Dale as his biggest campaign contributor. Dale, of course, is one of the Barnett Shale’s major drillers.

And Star-Telegram watchdog reporters must have been curled up under the porch when Mayor Mike Moncrief failed to abstain from a vote benefiting a company that employed his son as an officer. Is it a coincidence that Brooks is black and represents a mostly minority district, while Moncrief, Haskin, and Scarth are white yuppies courted by the establishment crowd? The newspaper has kissed ass among the rich white establishment ever since the paper’s founder, Amon Carter, was a king among that crowd. Woof.


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