Ted Williams’ Head Ain’t Right

3
Posted October 2, 2009 by Jeff Prince in Blotch

A new book says a bunch of ingrates abused Ted Williams’ frozen head.

That ain’t right.

Williams was an irascible cuss, for sure, but he was also what I’d call a true American hero. A top slugger among the annals of professional baseball, Williams ended his career with a .344 batting average and 521 homers.

Hitting for .400 average is every player’s dream and Williams had the goal in hand by the final game of the 1941 season. His manager offered to sit him on the last game to protect his .400 average and place in the history books, but Williams insisted on playing. The Kid, as he was called, got four hits and raised his average to .406. Nobody has topped the mark ever since.

After the 1942 season, Williams joined the Marines in the prime of his career and flew fighter jets in World War II. He didn’t go back to baseball until 1946, and then won the MVP award. The next year he won his second Triple Crown. The guy was a beast with a bat.

He answered the call to military duty again in 1952 and 1953 during the Korean War and almost died while crashing a fighter plane. Then he returned to baseball and could still hit. In 1957 at age 39 he batted .388 and became the oldest player to win a batting championship.

The Kid was something special. After he retired he endorsed sporting equipment and as a kid myself I proudly wore a Ted Williams baseball glove out in left field, and I pumped iron on my Ted Williams weight set.

I enjoy irreverence. Some years back, Howard Stern sent Stuttering John to interview Williams at a card show. John sidled up to The Kid with a microphone and asked if Williams had ever farted in the catcher’s face. Williams look confused, leaned forward and said, “Pardon?” Stuttering John repeated the question and Williams said, “Who the hell are you…asking that goddamn kind of question…see you later.”

That was funny, but defacing (literally) Williams goes way beyond the bounds of good taste, or even bad taste.

This new book “Frozen” claims workers abused many of the bodies at the Arizona cryonics facility that stores bodies in liquid nitro in case future technology makes it possible to revive them.

Hopefully technology will also figure out how to repair a mutilated frozen head, and Williams can come back to life, get his baseball bat, and take a few practice swings at those scumbags.



3 Comments


  1.  
    Chef Mike

    10-1-09

    Relative to the subject of death and what’s next, “It is appointed to mankind, once to die and after that, the judgment.”

    -The Owner’s Manual

    The Book in which that is contained has never been reversed, is without a single flaw, and contains ALL that we need to know about History (HisStory), Science, and All of existence.

    In fact, ALL that is in existence, (Time, Force, Space, Action, & Matter – Herbert Spencer, First Principles [1867, and not denied to this day) exists in the very first verse of that Book: “In the beginning (Time), God (Force), created (Action), the heavens (Space) and the earth” (Matter). Nothing else exists in the whole universe other then those five items. And there is no evidence that it ever will. In fact, there is uncontrovertibly evidence that in fact, it never will be superseded. Period. End of story.

    The time to decide on eternal issues is TODAY. Stop wishing/hoping for a tomorrow that will never come. Tomorrow is too late and always will be too late, even for the Great One, the Thumper, #9, who in my mind, is, was, and always will be the greatest who ever wore a baseball uniform.

    Chef Mike,
    227 Redwood Lane
    Largo, FL 33770




  2.  
    John Lowther

    Um, Ted Williams did not fly jet fighters for the Marines in WWII.

    The Army Air Corps had a few jets in that era, but not the Marines.

    Williams did fly Corsair fighters and train pilots on them, but those were the ones with the big round piston engines, not the much later Corsair II, which was a jet.




  3.  

    There’s unforeseen consequences of bringing frozen people back from the dead…think of the horrific culture shock they’d have to endure? By the time the technology needed to bring them back fully was available?





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