Brokeback Stockyards

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Posted October 13, 2009 by Jimmy Fowler in Blotch

My colleague, the ultra-prolific “Blotcher” Jeff Prince, made some excellent points in his “Big Balls” post. Most gay-sympathetic hetero Texans are as likely to roll their eyes at the idea of Queer Liberaction’s ”Kiss In” as they are at the sight of Mr. and Ms. Too Much In Love sucking on each other’s tonsils in Sundance Square. In a sane and fair world, that’s the reaction everyone would get.

But we haven’t quite reached that world yet. Hetero PDAs, however annoying, are almost ubiquitous compared to homo PDAs, which are practically nil. Let’s take it down a notch to merely holding hands in public, a milder and more acceptable PDA. A gay couple – especially two men – couldn’t even do that in many parts of the city without at least being insulted by a stranger. (Heteros of the Fort, I’d love to be proven wrong on that).

But a “Hold Hands In” sounds pretty lame. If you’re going to conduct a protest/demonstration/piece of political street theater, then by God, do it with a sense of humor a la a Gay “Kiss-In.” A gay kissing booth in the Stockyards! That’s genius. I hope they bring an iPOD with speakers and play appropriate music. My suggestions would be: Toby Keith’s “You Shouldn’t Kiss Me Like This”; Hank Williams, Jr.’s “You Can’t Find Many Kissers”; and, of course, Waylon Jennings’ “Kisses Sweeter than Wine.”

All that said – smoochers, be careful. Make sure there are plenty of cell phone cameras around to record incidents. I’d hope the Fort Worth police – who definitely have better things to do – would be aware of this 5pm event. And here’s a message to the idiot who can’t simply restrain his annoyance like an adult: If you take any inappropriate action at this event, you will be proving QueerLiberaction’s point exactly. They’re just kissing, fer Chrisake!

What’s the best way to demonstrate the inclusivity that Fort Worth touts? When someone shouts: “We’re here, we’re queer!”, reply: “Yawn.”


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