Romo’s a Homo? (No, No)

5
Posted December 16, 2009 by Jimmy Fowler in Blotch

Let me apologize up front if any readers are offended by the “H” word in the post headline. If you didn’t already know, I’m gay, I play for the pink team, I’ve got sugar in my shorts, etc etc.

I just couldn’t resist the above rhyme after hanging on for half an hour during Channel 5’s “First at Four” newscast to find out what “the latest rumors swirling around Tony Romo” were. It’s true, I’ve got gay on the brain, though sometimes it seems like the whole world does, too. But tell me this teaser isn’t more than a bit suggestive: “Coming up, the latest rumors swirling around Tony Romo. And they have nothing to do with football. We’re setting the record STRAIGHT.” (That’s almost a verbatim quote, with my caps added).

Turns out those rumors involved Romo getting engaged to his latest female squeeze when, in reality, they were just dating. BOR-ING! The only interesting hetero pro athlete right now is Tiger Woods, and that’s because his heterosexuality seems sorta pathological.

Santa, if you’re listening, here’s my wish: Let some major pro athlete come out in 2010. (Yes, Virginia, there are indeed gay pro athletes – even football players). A famous retired one will do. Much as I approve of Adam Lambert scandalizing prime time viewers with fellatio mime, America needs its jock consciousness rocked hard. Only a celebrated gay tight end or wide receiver can do that. (Don’t blame me, sports fans. I didn’t invent those gay-sounding team positions).


5 Comments


  1.  
    The Bear

    Are you high?




  2.  
    jmam

    It’s not the word, it’s the context in which it is used. The intent, regardless of what the language used, was to insult Romo. I sponsor a high school club for young gay students, and this type of language is what we consider to be a form of homophobic bullying. I think it is especially insensitive of you to say “I’m gay, it’s alright.” That sends a mixed message, like black people calling each other by a racial slur they would punch somebody out for calling them.




  3.  
    SueGirl

    Please explain why a NFL player coming out would be so important to you?

    Since when would this be even considered any of your business?

    We don’t care if YOUR gay, why would we care if someone else is? Pro player or not?




  4.  
    Jimmy F.

    To The Bear:

    Alas, I wasn’t high when I wrote this.

    To Jmam:

    I commend you for sponsoring a high school club for gay students. Seriously, that’s great work. But your post doesn’t make any sense. You say, “It’s not the word, it’s the intent.” My intent was clearly not to be hurtful, it was to be humorous. C’mon – “Romo” rhymes with “homo.” That opportunity doesn’t come along very often. And you think being called gay – or just having someone wonder if you’re gay — is an insult? Not in my book. And you think a black person using the “N” word is the same as a white person using it? Nope, I disagree.

    To SueGirl:

    I’m glad you don’t care who’s gay. But many, many, many people do. Pro sports – especially football – are in some ways the last media refuge for monolithic heterosexuality. We have gay actors, gay musicians, gay comedians, gay politicians, gay clergy. If it’s, like, no big deal, why are there no openly gay players – or at least, openly gay MALE players — on that vast field? For a pro athlete to bravely step forward and say, “You know what? I’m gay” means that gay people can say, “We don’t have to hide who we are in this place, either.” Then we can truly begin the business of not caring.

    As you can see by the number of times I’ve used the word “gay” in this post, my final message to everyone is: Gay, gay, gay.




  5.  
    Kristian

    Jimmy, think you might have been reading a bit much into the teaser, unless there was some accompanying visual.

    People with gay interests and sports interests might want to read this article: http://sports.espn.go.com/nhl/columns/story?columnist=buccigross_john&id=4685761





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