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The Jason Garrett Watch has begun, and he’s not exactly being embraced by fans or sports writers because of his previous failures as offensive coordinator.

FIRST DIMPLE SEEN ON A COWBOYS HEAD COACH IN A WHILE
FIRST COWBOYS HEAD COACH IN A WHILE WITH DIMPLES

The Landry Hat predicts he’ll need to win six of eight games to keep his job. That won’t happen.

MSNBC says in-season coaching changes seldom work. Duh.

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Bleacher Report tells Garrett to “put aside his desire to prove he’s an offensive genius” and focus on being in charge, meaning promote assistant coaches Ray Sherman, Paul Pasqualoni (already done), and Dave Campo.

And this Bleacher Report story examines numerous possibilities, including the Cowboys finishing with the worst record in football and getting the first pick, even suggesting Stanford quarterback Andrew Luck in a backhanded slap at Tony Romo.

Reader comments at DallasCowboys.com predict disaster. Example: “He already had a bloody chance, and just with the offense, not even the whole team…and he did absolutely shyte.”

As for my own prediction: Garrett is a great hire, he’ll spark the team, win the permanent head coaching job, and eventually lead this team back into the winner’s circle.

My reasons for predicting such lofty success:

MAXIMIZING OPPORTUNITIES — Garrett was a good quarterback despite limited physical attributes.  He did a fantastic job with the goods God/Genetics gave him because of work ethic and passion. He served as Troy Aikman’s understudy in those glorious Super Bowl years, and filled in ably whenever Aikman went down, even staging a remarkable comeback victory against Green Bay on Thanksgiving Day in 1994. He makes the best of what he’s got.

GINGER FACTOR — Garrett’s got the red hair thing going, and was named head coach on the same day that fellow redhead Conan O’Brien premiered his new show Conan on TBS. It’s destiny. Garrett will turn the team around and O’Brien will kick Jay Leno’s ass in the late night ratings.

MORE HAIR ON TOP WOULD MAKE JASON A DEAD RINGER FOR COCO
MORE HAIR ON TOP WOULD MAKE JASON A DEAD RINGER FOR COCO

conan

BLESSED VIEWER RELIEF — Anybody who’s ever seen Wade Phillips on his Sunday morning show knows the pain of hearing Mr. Huggybear mumble sleepily about absolutely nothing in a mind-numbing monotone completely void of anything remotely approaching passion or enthusiasm. It was almost as bad as watching the comatose Tom Landry on his Sunday morning show back in the day. Garrett has to be an improvement in TV’s important X-factor rating.

MONOTONE NO MO
MONOTONE NO MO

DAD FACTOR — Mainly, I think Garrett will succeed because of the discipline drilled into him by his father, Jim Garrett, a former scout for the Cowboys as well as a college player and coach. I recall seeing a video on Jim Garrett a few years ago, about how he had jogged several miles every single morning, seven days a week, year after year after year. When asked how he made himself do it all those mornings without fail, despite rain, snow, heat, illness, or gloom of life, he said something to the effect of, “Well, I got up, put on my shoes, and then did it, that’s all.”

2 COMMENTS

  1. How dare you mention Jason Garret in the same breath as Tom Landry! Jason couldn’t carry Coach Landry’s jock strap much less wear his fedora.

  2. Landry didn’t always have the best results. Just seems that most have forgotten the year that the strike scabs had a better winning record than the regular team. Or the year that scalpers couldn’t even give away tickets with parking passes on an empty texas stadium lot at game time. More? But Tom Landry made the cowboys americas team. Even his worst teams played with class and conviction. He would not settle for less.

    I’m not a Garrett fan. But if he can get that much going with this team, I may jump on his wagon.

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