Octomom, Other Trainwrecks Want To Chat

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Posted March 21, 2012 by Jeff Prince in Blotch
WOULD YOU PAY TO TALK TO MICHAEL LOHAN? AT LEAST TALKING TO HIM ON THE PHONE DOESNT INVOLVE SEEING HIS NIPPLES.

WOULD YOU PAY TO TALK TO A GUY WHO TOOK THIS SELF-PORTRAIT AND FATHERED LINDSAY LOHAN?

Grab your Visa card and pick up a phone if you’ve ever felt like rapping with Lindsay Lohan’s parents, Tila Tequila, or the Octomom.

D-list (is there an E-list?) celebrities who can’t land a gig on Dancing With The Stars are now accepting money in exchange for talking to fans on the phone at this site for $10 to $25 a minute.

I’m trying to imagine how one of these conversations would go:

ME: Hi, Miss Octomom.

OCTO: Please call me Nadya. I look forward to having a very fertile conversation.

ME:  How are the kids?

OCTO: Well, let me tell you… .

Note to self: Inquiring about the kids when talking to a woman with 14 of the snotty-nosed little monsters is a bad idea when paying $12 a minute. Three hours later…

ME: How’s the weather in California?

OCTO: Well, let me tell you… .

Note to self: Inquiring about anything when paying $12 a minute is a bad idea.

ME: Enough small talk, I’ve already spent $2,574 hearing about your kids and the weather — could you say something important that’s worth $12 a minute?

OCTO: You sound like a big, strong, sexy hunk. Can I call you Tiger Man?

ME: Now we’re talking. Please continue.


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