Save the Twinkie!

7
Posted September 17, 2012 by Jimmy Fowler in Blotch
twinkies-on-plate

Much ink has been spilled criticizing Chicago teachers for their strike. Not nearly enough attention has been paid to another evil, selfish union right here in North Texas. One group of area workers threatens to imperil the lifestyles of stoners and junk food mavens everywhere: Hostess employees in Irving are dangerously close to killing the Twinkie in their greedy pursuit of better benefits and working conditions. The company claims if employees don’t accept terms in a newly negotiated contract, the snack cake business may go under.

Actually, I’d be willing to let the Twinkie die in the name of “solidarnosc” –– that cake’s sticky coarse texture has always been a downer to me. But who cares about sweat shop conditions if they continue to bring us the glorious Ding Dong? A Ding Dong dunked in a cold glass of milk is surely what God would taste like if He or She incarnated as a snack cake. The frosting on top of a Zinger is pretty heavenly, too –– soft yet firm, it peels with flirtatious ease off the top of the cake and never disappoints. And oh man, don’t get me started on orange Zingers. Finding one in a convenience store is like sighting a rare species of beautiful orange bird. Except that you can buy it and eat it.

Hostess workers, don’t kill our supply. Your products have been contributing to the childhood obesity epidemic since before it was cool.


7 Comments


  1.  
    Obama's Seat

    The favorite snack of the President in his choom days, maybe he’ll step in.




  2.  

    I remember seeing on the Discovery channel that if the world came to an end that the Twinkie would still be edible at least 100 years from now. What does that tell you about what’s in it?




  3.  

    We are not asking for better benefits or working conditions. Most of us have been making the same or less than we made ten years ago. Our stock was first to go,and then the first bankruptcy where we were told by upper management to give back or they would handpick bakeries to close. Now just prior to entering bankruptcy court for the second time in four years, the CEO gave himself a 300% wage increase. They want us to give back again. No way!




  4.  
    Obama's Seat

    Mike, do what I did when management failed to meet my demands, get another job.




  5.  

    I am prepared to do that if need be, but I do have a pension with Hostess, to which they have illegally stopped contributing, and are asking the bankruptcy judge to adjust exorbitantly in their favor. I don’t mind if I have to look for a job if the company closes. Me and my union brothers and sisters have been bullied enough by lying, corrupt corporate America.




  6.  

    BCTGM wants to work with Hostess not Enron!




  7.  
    Obama's Seat

    Hang in there then, maybe you can eventually shut them down.





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