Screw Twinkies, Where’s My Ding Dong?

26
Posted July 15, 2013 by JIMMY FOWLER in Blogs
dingdongs

The national media is dutifully giving today’s Return of the Twinkie a warm hug of celebratory headlines. People say they love Twinkies, but I’m not really convinced. There’s a certain social pressure to claim the golden snack cakes with the weird springy texture and the oily “cream” filling as a guilty pleasure. But then people are supposed to say they love children and dogs, too – both of which are overrated, in my opinion. (Especially children, but don’t let me digress…).

Any devotee of convenience store cuisine knows that the real Hostess brand to savor is Ding Dongs. I’ve been keeping a silent vigil in my bedroom – one eternal flame lit atop an old birthday cake candle — for the dark brown disk loaded with moist devil’s food cake, satiny cream, and dipped in a thick shell of lustrous chocolate. Have you ever soaked a Ding Dong at the bottom of a glass of cold whole milk and ate it with a spoon? That was my ‘70s childhood version of cooking meth.

Oh, and there’s an important story about workers’ rights and the ongoing slow death of unions lurking behind the return of Hostess. But I’ll bet most people won’t pay attention to it. Anyway, back to Ding Dongs…


26 Comments


  1.  
    SandraL

    I think it’s more the fashion these days to hate children and pretend that everyone has a Dog-given right to go through adulthood without ever having to see, hear or share space with a child, but I digress…

    Count me as a member of the nevermind-the-Twinkies-when-are-the-Ding-Dongs-coming-back crowd.




  2.  
    Christin W

    That’s the same thing I asked when I went out at midnight 2 Meijer just to be highly disappointed at the sight of twinkies, chocolate donuts, powered donuts, and chocolate cupcakes. What a wasted trip! When are the ding dongs coming back and when can I get one?




  3.  
    Jimmy Fowler

    A public space free of poorly parented kids I’m expected to indulge? From your lips to Dog’s ears.




  4.  
    Old Twink

    Here’s the major problem no one is talking about. The new Twinkies are 38.5 grams each, 4 grams less than the old ones. Some may not think that is much of a difference, but my body was used to that amount, and I’m not sure I’ll be able to adjust. My God, is there a Twinkadone clinic? And what of the ding dongs? How are we going to put up with tiny ding dongs, when we got used to big dongs in the past?




  5.  
    Carnac

    The big fail with ding dongs was when they replaced the old school shiny metallic 1970s wrappers with boring grey plastic wrappers.




  6.  

    Add me to the Ding Dongs list. I’ve leave the Twinkies for someone else, especially since the filling changed from what I remember as a kid. And Carnac, you are right about the wrappers!




    •  
      Mike

      SO right about the Wrappers—–BEFORE, they had a crisp chocolate wall that was kinda solid and when you bit into it, the wall would cave into the softer center…it had AWESOME texture balance. And when you refrigerated them it was even better. But the plastic changed this. I noticed the difference the very first time they changed it. It was no longer crisp, and when I bit into it, it was pretty much all mush. Not even refrigeration can fix it. It loses freshness and crispness with the air inside the plastic bag. Before that the Hostess Ding Dong brand was superior to any other snack cake. It went from 100% satisfaction and blissfulness to Little Debbie (with better ingredients) overnight. Needless to say, My Hostess intake all but dropped off when that happened. I hope you are listening, Hostess!!! Bring back the FOIL!!!




  7.  
    Pammy6

    August 4, 2013 and I am still searching for both ding dongs and suzy q’s with none in sight. Where or where could they be?




  8.  

    I’m still breathing a sigh of relief that Little Debbie didn’t kill, er, I mean buy the Ding Dong company.




  9.  
    stan

    Yes I was craving “Ding Dongs”. Where are they? If your really want them I suggest “Little Debbie” she has something that is just as good.




    •  
      Sarah

      The Little Debbie version isn’t just as good. It’s too spongy and the shell isn’t hard enough. Sara Lee has a version that has a similar style shell as Hostess but the cream needs to be more centered. I still have mostly ignored both, hoping and waiting for Dying Dongs to come back.

      And I’m right there on the foil wrappers, though all the boxes I had before the workers strike had the foil wrappers. I’ve only had the non-foil wrappers from vending machines and it does taste slightly different that way.




  10.  
    jane

    please ,,,,,I beg you….. i need my ding dongs,,,,,,,,,,,how can one survive without the true ding dongs? seriously if hostess is making a comeback then make a true comeback….THE DINGDONGS…… oh and the original crumbcake as a bonus for leaving in the first place? Twinkies are ok but the dingdong is the sh*t……I need my dingdongs for my three A.M. wake up cravings. All peeps down with me say hell yes!!!!!!!!!!!!




  11.  
    randy

    not believing this sh*t if ding dongs are the big fav,,,whats the hold up??
    I been waiting months and am going to boycott soon if I dont see a box
    soon,whats the world coming to send billions to some third world sh*t
    hole that could care less….but cant put a ding dong on the shelf. ready
    to throw in the towel.




  12.  
    nnytak

    I want my freakin ding dongs! I was told they would have them but haven’t seen an ounce of them here there or anywhere!




  13.  
    anna

    Just ate little debbie cocco creme. It is the ding dongs knock off. Texture is wrong but taste is good and very close but come on nothing can replace the original ding dongs.




  14.  
    ding-a-ling

    I’ve waited since the July,15 date and still no ding dong’s please someone help. If the Hostess product ding dong is not put out by Sept 30, 2013 we will have a boycott of Hostess products .




  15.  
    DingyBird

    Has anyone found any yet? Ive searched every place I could think of! I need my damn ding dongs!!! Whaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




    •  
      Alex O'Ryan

      I found some tonight. And boy, was I disappointed when I bit into one. They may have the Ding Dong name, but these cakes are NOT Ding Dongs. I think I’ll stick with Tastykake.




  16.  
    Kay

    After many months I’ve finally come across a box of ding dongs at my local Randall’s! I’m soooo happy! They taste pretty damn amazing to me!




  17.  
    Sarah CA

    I am so glad I found this website because I needed some where to gripe.

    Ok so I finally bought a box of the new Ding Dongs. I was so excited, got them home and was so ready for my first one with milk…like you all I noticed the plastic wrap and thought nothing of it until I had my first bite…blech

    What a epic disappointment. Not only is the texture off the whole thing just tasted WRONG. I have eaten these babies since I was a child…and even have a nick name for them- lard puppies, because they were made with animal fat, which made them taste AWESOME. Face it we don’t eat Ding Dongs for our health.

    They taste awful and putting them in the fridge did not help either, something I used to always do with the old brand. It is not just the texture or the wrapper, they have changed the formula, especially the cream. It is just awful. I am so sad…

    Sarah Lee cakes at least taste good which I guess I will switch back…




  18.  
    Lindsey

    my body’s sensitive so i don’t eat boxed food often and given up many of my past pleasures and needed some comfort food today. I found a generic brand and thought oh great but better than nothing right. so I grabbed my starbucks iced coffee and doubleshot. i mix them to create my”crackbomb” and headed home. it surprised me. texture was pretty amazing and it’s packaged in metallic wrapper. pinguinos by marinela. I found at a local food mart/convience store. but prolly easiest bet is a ethnic food mart in Latino isle. I’d say it’s a good alternative to the new ding dongs




  19.  
    Lindsey

    my body’s sensitive so i don’t eat boxed food often and given up many of my past pleasures and needed some comfort food today. I found a generic brand and thought oh great but better than nothing right. so I grabbed my starbucks iced coffee and doubleshot. i mix them to create my”crackbomb” and headed home. it surprised me. texture was pretty amazing and it’s packaged in metallic wrapper. pinguinos by marinela. I found at a local food mart/convience store. but prolly easiest bet is a ethnic food mart in Latino isle. I’d say it’s a good alternative to the new ding dongs




  20.  
    JB

    They’re finally here!




  21.  
    porchmonkey

    Walmart’s version in a Hostess box. I’m pretty sure the chocolate outside was darker too. They will probably do fine in Colorado and Washington where pot is legal. Just another product ruined by the high cost and greed of union labor.





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