The Biggest (Lovable) Losers: Western Hills Cougars
You’ve probably heard the story by now, since it’s making web headlines: A Western Hills High School parent filed a bullying complaint against football coaches at Aledo High School after the Aledo Bearcats trounced the Western Hills Cougars 91-0 last Friday night. The predictable response has been rolling eyes and disgusted snorts about how everyone’s taking this whole anti-bullying campaign way too far.
Real bullying –– and by that, I mean long term, concerted efforts by students to humiliate and intimidate one “outsider” student –– is unacceptable, and should be treated seriously. But the Aledo Bearcats weren’t bullying the Western Hills Cougars. In technical terms, the Bearcats were kicking their opponents’ asses so hard the Cougars are probably still wearing their own buttcheeks as ear muffs.
But the parent who filed the complaint wasn’t taking bullying too seriously. Instead, as is typical of so many Texans, they were getting their panties in a wad over football. Freakin’ football! Memo to Cougar parents: Relax! Your kids didn’t receive permanent psychic scars from losing a ball game (even though that game was admittedly lost in an epic, one-for-the-history-books way). They will go on to lead whatever successful or unsuccessful, happy or unhappy lives they were destined to before this comical incident. The players also experienced a wonderfully teachable moment as they watched how some people (i.e. the Bearcats’ coaches) can get so drunk over small victories (like winning a football game), they pee all over those triumphs and devalue them.
Cheer up, Cougars! Americans love underdogs, and they especially love celebrating hard-working losers who have a sense of humor about their losses. If a big budget studio comedy gets made about the 91-0 game, Will Ferrell will be cast as the Cougars’ dorky coach and the Cougars themselves will be the lovable heroes. (In the meantime, though, the Cougars still suck at football. 91-0? Damn, guys. Ever consider trying out for the big school play instead?)