Static

She Can See His Hair From There

Static
It’s hard to imagine who would be a worse governor, incumbent Republican Rick Perry or Republican challenger U.S. Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison. Unless, gosh darn it, your name is Sarah Palin, you live 2,500 miles away, and c...


Salvation through Science

Static
The title of the sermon tickled Static’s little secular pea-pickin’ heart: “Thank God for Evolution: How the Scientific Method is the Path to Salvation.” To be preached here in the buckle on the Bible Be...



Salvation through Science

Static
The title of the sermon tickled Static’s little secular pea-pickin’ heart: “Thank God for Evolution: How the Scientific Method is the Path to Salvation.” To be preached here in the buckle on the Bible Be...


Spreading it Around

Static
Static’s old Stock Show-loving granny used to say, “When life hands you cow poop, make cow poop-ade.” Why life would be handling cow manure was never clear, but Static vowed to make poop-ade nonetheless. And s...



Spreading it Around

Static
Static’s old Stock Show-loving granny used to say, “When life hands you cow poop, make cow poop-ade.” Why life would be handling cow manure was never clear, but Static vowed to make poop-ade nonetheless. And s...


Too Dear to Measure

Static
“It is not too much to expect that our children will enjoy in their homes electrical energy too cheap to meter. … This is the forecast of an age of peace.”



Too Dear to Measure

Static
“It is not too much to expect that our children will enjoy in their homes electrical energy too cheap to meter. … This is the forecast of an age of peace.”


Oh Say, We Can See

Static
Static, who, at least when it comes to writing, is generally quail-free, quails at the thought of summing up in any little piss-ant, 500-word column what Tuesday meant to this country and the world. How can you capture the impo...



Oh Say, We Can See

fwuser
Static, who, at least when it comes to writing, is generally quail-free, quails at the thought of summing up in any little piss-ant, 500-word column what Tuesday meant to this country and the world. How can you capture the impo...


If It Drives Like a Duck …

Static
Sigh. The spin industry and its forebear, the marketing behemoth, think we are all such simps. “Used” cars seem low-class, so they became “pre-owned.” Want to sell kids caffeine? Call it an “energy...