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The Who Blew At Super Bowl

Monday, February 8th, 2010 by Jeff Prince

This year’s Super Bowl halftime show should let the event’s producers know loud and clear (and very off-pitch) that it’s time to retire the geriatric rockers.

I was at The Cellar on West Berry Street during the game last night but missed the halftime show. Later in the evening I talked to a rabid Who fan.

“How’d it go?” I asked.

“Ehhh,” was his response.

Then he brightened up. “Zak Starkey played drums and he was great.”

It’s bad news when a fan says the highlight of the show was Ringo’s son sitting in on drums.

After I got home I cranked up my Tivo and watched the debacle myself.

If this were American Idol, judge Randy Jackson would have said, “Pitchy, dawgs.” Paula Abdul would have spoon fed herself a bowl of Seconals (and she’s not even an Idol judge anymore).

Pete Townshend’s “harmonies” overpowered Roger Daltrey’s erratic but relatively better vocals. And, sorry, but when I see Townshend doing the windmill move these days I just worry about him tearing a rotator cuff.

On the positive side, Daltrey nailed his primal scream coming out of the organ break on “Won’t Get Fooled Again.” That’s a tough trick. The tone on Townshend’s guitar was gorgeously raw and mean — he hit a couple of chords that sounded like explosions of thunder. And Starkey pummeled the drums with a ferocity that would have made Keith Moon proud.

The light show and fireworks were cool too.

Overall, though, I agree with the fan who said, “Ehhh.”

It’s time to forget about Janet Jackson’s exposed nipple. It’s time to hire some of the 21st Century’s new wave of female rockers.

Lady Gaga is tailor made for a halftime show. Or, if it’s so important for producers to hire older, established rock bands with well-known hits, how about Heart?

Here’s Lady Gaga’s recent performance at the 2010 Grammy Awards:

Forget The Nipple, Join 21st Century

Friday, February 5th, 2010 by Jeff Prince

If not for the mammary gland seen ‘round the world, we wouldn’t be enduring tired old acts such as The Who during the Super Bowl telecast.

Ever since Justin Timberlake got grabby with Janet Jackson, prompting a “wardrobe malfunction” in 2004, the Super Bowl halftime show has trotted out one tame geezer after another.

The fairer sex has unfairly been banned for life.

Post Nipplegate, Paul McCartney crooned in 2005. The Rolling Stones creaked in 2006. Prince kicked ass in 2007, but then the yawn fests continued with Tom Petty in ’08 and Bruce Springsteen in ’09.

Where’s Lady Gaga? Beyonce? Amy Winehouse? Taylor Swift (ha, just checking to see if you’re still paying attention)?

This year we get a band that released a handful of great songs 40 years ago but never measured up to their rock contemporaries. Of course, they’re still alive, so that works in their favor.

Let’s see, there’s “My Generation,” “The Kids Are Alright,” “Pinball Wizard,” “Won’t Get Fooled Again,” and “Who Are You.” That’s probably what they’ll play in a rushed, 12-minute medley.

I’d rather hear “Listening To You,” “Mobile,” and “Behind Blue Eyes,” and a big finish with “Love Reign O’er Me.”

Actually, I’d rather hear Lady Gaga or Amy Winehouse but they have bosoms, which might somehow get exposed and END LIFE AS WE KNOW IT!

Everyone knows the economic downturn started shortly Jackson’s nipple was seen.

But no one cares if Roger Daltrey’s nipples are glimpsed.

Here’s the band’s version of “Reign” from the Live AID Concert in 1985:

Slap Rahm Emanuel’s Wrist And Move On

Thursday, February 4th, 2010 by Jeff Prince

President Obama’s Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel is under attack for using what is now known as “the R word.”

Based on what’s been said about Emanuel’s private conversations, he’s one profane mofo. To him, describing somebody as “fucking retarded” is just another day at the salt mine.

And what do you expect from a guy often described as a bare-knuckles, arrogant, asshole?

Still, he wasn’t directing his slur at a mentally challenged person; he was referring to some fellow Democrats at a meeting.

Normally, one might think a card-carrying Republican and arbiter of all that is morally acceptable in society would agree with him.

But former Alaskan governor and current gadfly book writer Sarah Palin is calling for him to be fired for his “heartbreaking” and “indecent tactics” and his “slur on all God’s children with cognitive and developmental disabilities – and the people who love them.” She compared it to the “N-word.”

Using “retarded” in an off-handed manner in private conversations is distasteful, but, c’mon, Palin, let’s not stick the guy’s neck in the guillotine for chrissakes.

He groveled and offered a lame apology. Obama should slap his wrist, tell him to clean his potty mouth or else, and then let him get back to helping run the country.

I’ll bet Emanuel doesn’t use the “R” word again. If he continues, then he should be fired.

Rick Perry Flexes Muscles In Poll

Wednesday, February 3rd, 2010 by Jeff Prince

Looks like Nolan Ryan hitched his team to a rickety wagon. No…not the Texas Rangers. (Well, ok, the Texas Rangers too, but that’s a different story.)

I’m talking about the Texas governor’s race. Ryan backed Fort Worth’s own U.S. Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison against longtime king-o-the-world Gov. Rick Perry in the race for the Republican gubernatorial nomination.

Here’s his TV commercial praising her Kayness:

But a new poll shows Perry increasing his lead over Hutchison with a month before the primary, and longshot candidate Debra Medina making a surprising surge.

It’s hard not to root for Medina. She’s variously described as a small business owner, activist, registered nurse, and “spoiler.” Best of all she’s an outsider compared to the usual career politicians that become too slick for their own good — or, more importantly, for our own good.

Breaking News: Taylor Swift Clumsy Too

Tuesday, February 2nd, 2010 by Jeff Prince

In what can only be described as divine intervention, Taylor Swift dropped and broke one of her ill-begotten Grammy awards:

What’s worse, she mentions that it’s the second time that night that she’d dropped an award.

Kanye West should have taken the awards from her arms and handed them to Beyonce…or Stevie Nicks for that matter. This time around, he’d be given a hero’s welcome.

Energy Industry Complains About Complaints

Tuesday, February 2nd, 2010 by Jeff Prince

U.S. residents are increasingly banding together to fight an energy industry that is creating industrial work sites in the middle of neighborhoods and threatening air and water quality.

Environmentalists are trying to change laws written to benefit and protect the industry against certain regulations. Some are paying for independent air quality tests that show evidence of benzene and other carcinogens polluting the air near natural gas sites.

Dave Michaels of The Dallas Morning News follows the impact of a slowdown in production and the trickle down effect on Texas universities, in the event President Barack Obama gets his way on trimming tax incentives and research funding for domestic production.

Some see the budget cuts as a necessary sacrifice, a natural progression of moving toward renewable energy.

Fossil fuel producers see it as an attack on their treasure chests, and a challenge to their long history of enjoying laws stacked in their favor.

And since the guys with the treasure chests command the power in Austin and Washington D.C., toughening laws won’t be easy. Don’t think the battle won’t get noisy.

Make your voice heard if you feel one way or the other.



Tony Romo’s Got It Backwards

Monday, February 1st, 2010 by Jeff Prince

Tony Romo is wearing his ballcap backwards again.

This isn’t earth-shattering news.

But people with corncobs up their patooties harassed the poor guy for years until he finally broke down and gave up his personal fashion style, turned his hat in the forward position this season, and made everybody happy.

He also became a talking automaton. “Work hard, improve, one day at a time” became his parroted mantra. Gone were the glib responses of yore that got him into trouble.

The hat was backwards again at last night’s Pro Bowl game and Romo looked relaxed.

But he remained on guard during TV interviews, even while talking to this elementary school kid. Check out Romo’s response to the question about whether Carrie Underwood or Jessica Simpson is the better singer (which is akin to being asked which form of cancer you’d rather die from).

Here’s DeMarcus Ware being interviewed by the same kid:

TCU Student’s Ass Branding Is The New Black

Friday, January 29th, 2010 by Jeff Prince

Kat Von D and tattoo artists of her ilk are so yesterday. (Yes, I realize that saying “so yesterday” is…like…so yesterday, but whatever).

Human branding isn’t new, but in recent years it’s grown in popularity as an alternative to the been-there, done-that traditional ink tattoos.

Face it, when TV shows about tattoo shops are popular in the mainstream, tattoos are losing their “cool” status.

I’ve got a friend who is 50 years old and has never had a piercing or a tattoo in his life. Now he said he’s “getting inked” with a Jimmy Buffett parrot head logo.

If that doesn’t prove the tattoo trend is dying or dead, nothing does.

Which is why it’s no surprise to read about the great-grandson of Amon G. Carter being branded on his ass by fraternity brothers who lacked brotherly love while he was passed out in a drunken stupor. (I’ve spilled more whiskey than that kid’s drank, but I can say with certainty I’ve never been so drunk that a red-hot branding iron pressed against my tender butt cheeks wouldn’t rouse me. Then again, I was never stupid enough to join a college fraternity.)

If you don’t mind the virtual smell of burning flesh, here are some examples of branding:

First, branding in the name of Jesus!

And branding in the name of Beelzebub!

Here are some end results:

Gas Industry Goes After DISH Mayor

Thursday, January 28th, 2010 by Jeff Prince

Fort Worth sure is special.

Even our air is tougher than your average air.

The Texas Commission on Environmental Quality tested the air at natural gas sites inside the city limits and found “no cause for concern,” leading Mayor Mike Moncrief to say we’re all safe and healthy and happy around here.

TCEQ testing elsewhere, however, discovered the carcinogen benzene was fairly common at gas sites in the Barnett Shale field. About 1 in 5 sites were emitting toxins and pollutants in the air. And two sites tested so high that the state regulators demanded immediate corrections.

Gas production facilities can “and in some cases do” emit contaminants in amounts that could be deemed unsafe, according to a TCEQ news release.

Read this week’s Metro story for insight into the shaky world of TCEQ air testing.

DISH Mayor Calvin Tillman is quoted extensively in the story as his town resorted to spending 15 percent of its budget to pay for independent testing. The TCEQ seemed connected at the hip to the gas industry and so Tillman requested independent tests, which revealed high levels of carcinogens near a gas compressor station.

And guess what happens when you try to challenge a powerful industry that is spewing pollutants that are killing trees and animals and, some say, making humans ill?

You get harassed.

Read this letter written by Tillman after he received a letter from a law firm representing the Texas Pipeline Association. The group had asked for public documents from DISH, which Tillman supplied, but the law firm claimed he wasn’t giving them everything they asked for. The pipeline association is ready to “exercise all available remedies” if the information isn’t provided.

Here’s Tillman’s response:

Many of you have told me to let them know if ever needed your help. Well, I could use your help at the moment.  As you may have noticed I have become a lightening rod for personal attacks from our friends in the natural gas industry.  The latest is that they are accusing me of not providing the information that they asked for in a public information request to the town of DISH.  Please know that I completely cooperated with their request. The only thing that I questioned with the request was that they were asking for personal medical information from the citizens of DISH.  Of course they only wished to use this information to vilify the very citizens that they are poisoning.  So, I questioned the legality of their request, like any good mayor would do.  However, from the latest letter they are threatening to file suit against the town and file a complaint with the attorney general.  However, we have been more than cooperative with with those in the Texas Pipeline Association, who made this public information request.  What they are trying to do is come of with frivolous allegations, to run up the legal fees for our community.  As with with everything that I have done thus far, I am only trying to protect the citizens of this community, and I will not back down.  I have long ago quit worrying about myself, and now only worry about my family and my citizens.  I would ask that each and every person who supports what I have done and what am doing, please call the following people and ask them to clean up their mess in the town of DISH, and to LEAVE US ALONE!!!!  Please see attached threatening letter.

Patrick Nugent 512.478.2871

Celina Romero 515.472.8800

Please forward this message to as many people as you can and ask for their help.

Calvin Tillman
Mayor, DISH, TX
(940) 453-3640

“Those who say it can not be done, should get out of the way of those that are doing it”

Tonya Harding Breaks Kneecaps Of Common Sense

Wednesday, January 27th, 2010 by Jeff Prince

The death of Nancy Kerrigan’s father prompted the Olympic medalist’s nemesis, Tonya Harding, to issue a statement saying how sad she feels and how sympathetic she is because, like, her dad died last year too you know.

At least she didn’t offer to take Kerrigan “clubbing” (rim shot goes here).

For the uninformed, Harding and Kerrigan were skating rivals at the 1994 Winter Olympics until Harding’s ex-husband hired a hit man to smack Kerrigan’s kneecaps. Kerrigan survived and prevailed, but Harding’s competitive figure skating career was over. That didn’t stop her from clinging to fame any way she could, from celebrity boxing matches to writing books to issuing distasteful public statements to the press.

Here’s today’s statement: “Tonya feels very sad for Nancy and her family and extends her deepest sympathy and condolences to them. Tonya’s beloved dad, Al Harding, passed away this past April, so she understands the grief Nancy and her family are feeling at this difficult time.”

Which is much better than her first draft: “Tonya feels very sad for herself because she tried to break Nancy’s legs prior to the Olympics and got caught, losing a buttload of endorsement money, and becoming a total loser. Even beating the crap out of Paula Jones barely made her feel gooder.”

“Damn that was fun. But anyhoo Tonya extends her deepest sympathy and condol … condollak … condolinnces to Nancy and them. Tonya’s dad died last year, you know, and Nancy didn’t even bother to make a public statement about it. And she’s supposed to be so sweet. Little Miss Perfect. La la la. Little Miss Ice Queen Bitch is more like it. But Tonya is a bigger person than her. So anyhoo, sorry y’all, and I forgive everybody for victimizing me, even our president, although that a-hole better not talk smack about me no more or I’ll kick his half-black ass halfway back to Africa. Buy my book, y’all.”


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