HearSay has the lazies. Fortunately, "journalists" have lots of low-energy ways of filling news holes when they don't feel like working: Run interviews in Q/A format. Reprint press releases. Get source quotes from Channel 8. Pick up entire stories, complete with headlines and photo captions, from a sister paper or wire service. Easiest of all is what's called "dumping the mailbag."

This being the middle of a Texas summer, pretty much the whole Fort Worth Weekly staff has the lazies, almost to the point of taking every shortcut and becoming the Star-T Life & Arts section. In fact, we kicked around the idea of doing an entire Lazy issue, but it seemed like too much trouble. So it's down to dumping the mailbag.

Dear HearSay: In responding to the article detailing my exit from Four Mile Mule (HearSay: "3/4 Mile Mule," July 26-Aug. 1, 2001), I would like to offer the following statement (particularly since I was not given time to respond before you went to print):

With regard to the previously referenced night at 8.0, I was simply mad that Matt Key was drunk and unable to perform in a professional manner. This isn't the first time we've made it into print because of Matt's drinking. And as far as Matt's quote about "personal conflict" and artistic differences, I can only say that I am surprised.... I never saw any conflict. I love the guys in Four Mile Mule, and I'm disappointed that they can't realize that I just decided to leave the band. Relax, bands change members. They'll have plenty of opportunity to go on, underappreciated, without me.

Daniel Hines
Fort Worth

HearSay twinges with guilt for having underappreciated Four Mile Mule all this time. Also for calling Matt Key drunk, in print, though that's not guilt so much as fear of being sued for libel. Good thing HearSay has several sources for Key's beer-friendliness, one being HearSay's own sense of smell.

Dear HearSay: Daniel Hines blows goats. You guys made my day. Please continue to print anything negative about that loser. I can't wait to hear your review of his "solo" album.

Clint Bowling
Fort Worth

With no sources to confirm that Hines blows goats, HearSay does not stand by this statement.

What else is in here? Crap. Never anything good like the new Chomsky and Centro-matic releases. Pick of today's batch of advance c.d.'s: The Isley Brothers Featuring Ronald Isley a.k.a. Mr. Biggs. Pick of today's bribes: a Gilligan hat with "Seagram's Gin Live" embroidered on it. Here's another "I've always wanted to write about music" resume. Not when you find out what the Weekly pays. Though if salary is divided by actual working hours, HearSay is rich rich rich.