This is, after all, the place where Fort Worth elite not only show that they have money (evidenced by clothes and seating), and that it's old money (they or their corporations have boxes), but that they are Authentically Western (they wear the right gear). If they are truly elite, the male members of their clan put on tall, extremely expensive and garish made-to-order boots, tuck them inside suit pants, put on a western jacket and Shady Oaks hat, and get out and help with the calf scramble. Or they put up lots of money to buy championship livestock.

So, how do you pretend to be one of them? First, wangle a box seat ticket from someone. Buying a box is next to impossible, but lots of companies have seats to give away at some performances. Show up wearing more silver than a Santa Fe opera patron, plus some denim and boots. (If your boots are a tad scruffy, they may assume you are a rodeo participant, another sort of VIP in this setting. If want to get some garish ones cheap, check out the Justin boot outlet.) Act like a veteran by covering your beer when the rough stock gets close and kicks up various biodegradable substances from the arena floor, then be blasé about picking out the stuff that lands in your hair. Read up on the rodeo participants beforehand, then make quarter bets with your boxmates on who will win each event. (You have so much money that you don't have to flaunt it with big bets.) Talk knowledgeably about top participants' chances. (Don't forget to comment on the most ornery bulls as well as their riders.) If you pull this off, the truly important (or well-to-do) people in adjacent boxes will start peering over the railing to see if they can get in on the fun. Trust us. This has worked before.

Readers' Choice: Bass Performance Hall

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