Dr. No

Considering Chow, Baby's adventurous eating habits, it's no surprise that it takes a village of medical professionals to staff Team Health Chow, Baby. The problem is that this village is headquartered in southwest Fort Worth, which is tied for first place as Chow, Baby's least favorite part of town. Still, it's worth dodging the SUVs to spend a morning with team leader Dr. K., who always politely listens to Chow, Baby's litany of as-seen-in-Newsweek self-diagnoses before applying his actual medical knowledge to the problem. Which usually turns out to be simple indigestion, but expensive and invasive lab tests are always fun, too.

At least it was all over before lunchtime. After a few miles of shouting "Hang up and drive!" at various Hulen idiots, Chow, Baby settled into the soothing French-farmhouse décor of Bistro Louise (2900 S. Hulen St.). For those new to town, or to eating, Bistro Louise is arguably the best restaurant in Tarrant County, nationally lauded for its French-tinged New American dishes like confit of pheasant, rack of lamb, and poached lobster. Yes, it's expensive. Dinner entrées are in the $20-$40 range, but a lunch salad or panini can be had for less than $10.

Chow, Baby spent more because it was lucky enough to have a psychic waiter. Just after Chow, Baby ordered the fish special -- that day, a delightful pan-seared trout served with sautéed early summer vegetables ($12.50) -- Mark warned his obviously in-need customer that Louise's famous fallen chocolate soufflé ($7.50) takes 20 minutes to cook. Yes, do tell Cookie to get started on that! This soufflé is a dream -- a muffin-size serving of dense chocolate cake with a surprise center of rich melted fudge, and a side scoop of burnt-sugar ice cream. Chow, Baby was savoring the first incredibly luscious bite when it noticed the Sugar Police settling in at a nearby table. It was lanky Dr. M., another member of Team Health Chow, Baby. Dr. M. has a great bedside manner but is none too efficient; Chow, Baby figures he could save at least an hour a day if he just made a cardboard sign reading "If You Don't Stop That, You'll Wind Up With Diabetes." Then he could simply flash the sign four or five times during each appointment. Very unfair of him to show up at dessert time; Chow, Baby had to shield its soufflé with one arm and assume a virtuous "I'm eating delicious fresh fruit!" facial expression.

Dr. M.'s office is in the real Hospital District, the one just south of downtown Fort Worth. After one of his inspiring lectures, Chow, Baby likes to jog over to King Tut (1512 W. Magnolia Av.) for some heart-healthy Egyptian cuisine. Last month King Tut expanded into the corner-of-Hurley space formerly occupied by Magnolia Café; the result is a beautiful large, light, open room, deeelightfully decorated with ancient-Egyptian-style artwork and sarcophagi. Thank Ra that's the only change: The wait staff is, if possible, even more pleasant than before; the prices seem to be the same (with the welcome addition of a $5.95 lunch special that changes weekly); and the food is just as delicious. Chow, Baby will continue to enjoy the silky hummus ($4.50) and slow-simmered chicken shwarma ($9.50) in public. But just in case Drs. J., L., N., O. and/or P. put in a sudden appearance, Chow, Baby is getting its baklava to go.