Lady Liberty rolls across the burrito-saturated ether at Freeb!rds.

Freeb!rds 4965 Overton Ridge Blvd, Ste 300, FW. 817-294-7241. Sun-Thu 11am-10:30pm, Fri-Sat 11am-11pm. All major credit cards accepted.

Forget Chevrolet's allusions to baseball and apple pie or the patriotic colors of a Pepsi can. The greatest corporate appropriation of Americana can be found at numerous Freeb!rds World Burrito locations. Perched above the restaurants' tables is none other than Lady Liberty, straddling a sexy purple Harley, her arm stretched to the heavens, an enormous foil-wrapped burrito held firmly in her grip. She's never seemed more alive.

It may be the most audacious advertising ploy since Fred Astaire danced with a portable vacuum cleaner, but Freeb!rds wholeheartedly embodies the American spirit of dining. Lots of food. Small prices. Ready in minutes. And unlike many other franchises, Freeb!rds delivers the goods. The really good goods.

The chain hasn't spread across the country -- yet -- but it has taken Texas by storm. Originated in California 17 years ago by Mark Orfalea, Freeb!rds expanded to College Station in 1990, hoping to cash in on them hard-partyin' Aggies. Orfalea eventually sold the Freeb!irds rights to former college roommate Pierre Dube, and while Orfalea continues to run the solitary California locale, Dube's Freeb!rds chain has since spread from College Station to Austin, Houston, Dallas, and now Fort Worth. There are nine Texas locations in total, with three more slated to open by October.

The ordering experience can be especially daunting for the first-timer. After snaking through a zigzagging queue akin to those at Six Flags, customers finally make their choices from among 32 ingredients. Do you want a 1/2 B!rd, Freeb!rd, Monster, or Super Monster? And would you like that wrapped in a flour, wheat, spinach, or cayenne tortilla or served in a bowl? Habanero sauce, or perhaps Bad Ass BBQ, or maybe lime juice? White and dark chicken, or steak, or veggies, or all of the above? Guac? Sour cream? Refried beans? Pinto? Jalapeños? And what size drink? For here or to go?

And that barely covers half of it. The process makes for pretty complicated food foreplay, but in the end, the size and diverse possibilities of flavor are worth the trouble.

Size first: Don't be fooled by the so-called medium-sized burrito, the Freeb!rd. That baby's a big one, more than enough for a meal. But the standard, the one that most folks order, is the Monster, two meals in one for $6.50. As for the Super Monster, I don't know a single soul who's been brave enough to order it, but I imagine that it could replace Thanksgiving turkey dinner.

A burrito's girth is for naught if the ingredients inside don't pack a punch. With so many to choose from -- including three varieties of meats and beans each, four types of tortillas, and six sorts of sauces -- you can simply keep it simple or simply have it all.

Finding your favorite may take a couple of visits, but it can be done. Based on intensive research, the hearty veggie Monster with Bad Ass BBQ sauce -- a smoky concoction that accentuates the goods like a fine, funky marinade -- is a can't-miss. It's almost as juicy as the chicken Monster. A fan favorite packed with white or dark meat, this food grenade serves as a succulent, moist delight, no matter how many or few supplemental ingredients are involved. And while veggie and chicken burritos are Freeb!rds' staples, there's always steak. Be forewarned, however: The beef's often coarse, so you'd best mix it with some scintillating black beans or gooey queso and wrap it all up in a spicy, bright red Cayenne tortilla.

What's funny is that while Freeb!rds offers so many condiments to choose from, they're single-minded when it comes to rice and cheese -- to the detriment of the palate. The only kind of rice served is overpowering Spanish. You could fill your burrito with 20 ingredients, and that suffocating spicy rice would still dominate. The restaurant should really consider an alternative. And the only kind of cheese is Monterey Jack. Holy Blahsville.

With so much going for Freeb!rds, the only seeming obstacle for the Fort Worth nest is its awful location. Tucked as it is on the side of a small strip mall and practically invisible from the main road, my guest and I had a hell of a time finding the damn place (and our stomachs growled angrily during the delay). But when we got there, the store was swarming with people. Like the super-American idea of a Field of Dreams: If you build a Freeb!rds, they will, apparently, come.