Crawling With Flavor

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Posted March 28, 2012 by Jimmy Fowler in Blotch
THE SECRET INGREDIENT REALLY BUGS A LOT OF PEOPLE.

THE SECRET INGREDIENT REALLY BUGS A LOT OF PEOPLE.

Have you heard that Starbucks is drawing righteous anger from health advocates because some of its products contain a red food dye made partially from crushed insects? I don’t even know where to begin here, people, except to say that my fellow liberals are never more annoying than when they’re launching ridiculous puritanical health campaigns.

If you’re a fan of something called “red velvet whoopie pies” – a Starbucks dessert, I guess – then you should thank your lucky stars that the coffee retailer has opted for a coloring that contains less polymethanate sterilene pink #12 (I just made that chemical up) and more ground doodlebug shells. The shells are all-natural, with a savory hint of protein. My guess is, urban Starbucks habitués are less annoyed at the supposed health risk than at paying $8 for a dessert made from the bugs they used to torture as kids. Bon appetit, boys and girls!


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