The Italian word for “playoff” is spareggio, and I’m sure much of Italy would be happy if they never heard it again. After playoff losses to Sweden and North Macedonia kept the Azzurri out of World Cups 2018 and 2022, the Italians fell in the playoffs once again yesterday, this time losing to Bosnia-Herzegovina in a penalty shootout to ensure that they’ll miss World Cup 2026. Now their entire squad has never played a World Cup match. The last time they won a World Cup elimination game was the final in 2006, when Zinédine Zidane famously lost his head by using his head.
That insane point is the main takeaway as I compile this quadrennial feature. I’m trying to avoid putting the entire Italy squad in this list of World Cup absentees, so I’ve struck a balance among other countries. Even as the tournament expands to 48 teams, you can see there’s still lots of terrific players who will miss out.
By the way, there are no Iranian players here, even though Iran’s participation is up in the air. That is its own hideously complicated other story that deserves its own feature. For now, let’s rock. If this were my club team, I’d feel pretty good.
GK: Gianluigi Donnarumma (Italy)
The Manchester City netminder might just be the best goalkeeper in the entire world. He’s so good that he might have convinced Italy Coach Gennaro Gattuso to play defense for the entire second half against Bosnia, a decision that backfired. The Champions League and Euro tournament winner truly has no holes in his game, but he’ll once again be watching from his couch.
RB: Matty Caśh (Poland)
Why is his name spelled that way? Because he grew up in England as the son of Polish parents. The right-back has proved a consistent offensive threat through spells at Nottingham Forest and Aston Villa. There aren’t many good right-backs on the teams that missed out, so he gets the nod.
CB: Nikola Milenković (Serbia)
An inability to beat Albania kept the Serbs out of the playoffs, which will make the Albanians happy, given the history of bad blood between the two countries. The massive central defender proved to be a catalyst for a Nottingham Forest team that was weird-ass enough to push for the Champions League spots last year.
CB: Alessandro Bastoni (Italy)
Yes, his red card foul probably cost Italy that game against Bosnia. However, on balance he’s one of the best defenders in the world. Not only does the Inter Milan stalwart keep the goals out, he can contribute on the offensive end as well, converting free kicks and penalties.
LB: Patrick Dorgu (Denmark)
He’s not the first Black guy to play for Denmark, but the left-back is a key reason for Manchester United’s stunning turnaround. Maybe he’s not in the same class as the other great left-side defenders who have worn United’s colors, but the fans at Old Trafford are happy to see him manning the spot and contributing assists and goals.
DM: Oleksandr Zinchenko (Ukraine)
His club teams have generally played him at left-back, but he is quite good as a defensive midfielder, from which he has scored some spectacular goals. Unfortunately, he tore his ACL after playing all of seven minutes for Ajax last February, and his absence was a huge reason why the Ukrainians fell in the playoffs to Sweden.
CM: Dominik Szoboszlai (Hungary)
It is shaping up to be a bleak season in Liverpool, but the fans there have embraced the long-haired marauder who joined the team before the season started. The midfielder isn’t afraid to put in the hard yards, mix it up with opposing defenders, or smash shots and free kicks from distance that turn into great goals.
CM: Sandro Tonali (Italy)
He lost a year of his career to a gambling addiction that caused him to wager on Italian league matches while he was playing there. As a result of the scandal, he went through rehab and rocked up at Newcastle, where the fans appreciate his range of passing and his accuracy on corner kicks and free kicks. He converted his penalty during the shootout loss to Bosnia, which we knew he would.
LW: Khvicha Kvaratskhelia (Georgia)
Once again, the Crusaders fall short despite having this one-man wrecking crew leading their forward line. Since he made this feature four years ago, “Kvaradona” won the Champions League and helped his country to a historic victory over Portugal at the Euro tournament and looked like the prime version of Cristiano Ronaldo. Good news: The Paris St.-Germain winger will probably still be elite when 2030 rolls around.
RW: Bryan Mbeumo (Cameroon)
Another key factor in Manchester United’s resurgence is this bald winger who always looks dangerous going forward, whether he’s flashing his all-out speed or finding pathways through packed defenses. It was the shaky Cameroon defense behind him that opened the door for Cape Verde and Democratic Republic of the Congo to make the big dance.
CF: Victor Osimhen (Nigeria)
Of all the countries that are missing out on this tournament, Nigeria has to be the biggest head-scratcher, with talent dripping from every position. The Galatasaray power forward will be the Super Eagle we miss most, as his size, speed, and strength have consistently created problems for all manner of defenses.
Bench: Jan Oblak (Slovenia), Giorgi Mamardashvili (Georgia), Amir Rrahmani (Kosovo), Edmond Tapsoba (Burkina Faso), Giovanni Di Lorenzo (Italy), Milos Kerkez (Hungary), André-Frank Zambo Anguissa (Cameroon), Henrykh Mkhitaryan (Armenia), Dango Ouattara (Burkina Faso), Brennan Johnson (Wales), Robert Lewandowski (Poland), Serhou Guirassy (Guinea).
