I didn’t want to write this introduction. Like everything else in life, a woman could have done it better. But my woman co-workers said hearing from allies like me is fine, so here we are. The headline of my piece: Listen. To. Women.
My obvious reference is to the Trump-Epstein files (that have now led to the Epstein War in Iran, but we can chat about that later). For decades, women have been telling us how terrible this “grab ’em by the …” president is, and no one has been held accountable, especially the 34-count felon darkening the White House. Said creepo is mentioned more than 38,000 times in the files, lagging in number only behind Epstein himself and his madame, because amounts like that are totally normal for an innocent person. Imagine someone in government leaking the files to a reporter with some ovaries, a politician, or a white-hat lawyer before the 2016 election. That person, that Deep Throat, would be president now, and we’d all be buying single-family houses with cold, hard cash left over for one overseas vacation per quarter, putting Champagne in our Cheerios, and doing flash mobs again. Instead, we have to deal with pain, suffering, stagnant wages, unending job searches, the flippin’ measles, and drunk uncles online telling us pedophilia isn’t that big a deal. Thanks, “independent” voters. Assholes.
Perhaps less obvious, the headline calls back across the centuries. Men, especially white men, continue proving they are too testerical and emotional to lead let alone govern. My vote will always go toward the best, most levelheadedly progressive candidates no matter their gender, and if there’s a levelheaded, progressive woman leader capable of taking down tRump and/or Vance (and it’s not the polarizing Kamala, Jasmine, or AOC, sorry), now would be a good time for her to show herself. We’re only staring down the barrel of WWIII here …
As you can imagine, listening to women is what we Weeklyteers do in our private and professional lives, and it’s what we’re doing with this annual special issue. Young daughters, listen to your mothers when they’re telling you that you can be anything you want — except a tradwife (pg. 6). Listen to women … chirping at one another on the ice as they offer a hockey product that’s just as fun as the men’s game (pg. 26) or dominating the Big 12 on the hardwood like the Horned Frogs (pg. 25). Listen to women when they tell you they need better, more consistent access to reproductive care (pg. 9), and just listen to women — there are dozens of supremely talented, diverse musicians in town. They have thoughts about our scene and in general, too (pg. 21).
As I’ve said before, other than maybe lifting heavy things, goofing off, and sliding into alcoholism and despair, women do everything better than men. Best writer? Toni Morrison. Best tennis player? Serena Williams. Best actor? Nicole Kidman. Best humanitarian? Mother Teresa. Best singer? Nina Simone. Best scientist? Jane Goodall. Best human? My wife. And so on. You don’t need me telling you what’s what. Just listen to you know who. And watch them. As my old college football coach used to say, “Your actions speak so loud, I can’t hear a word you’re saying.” Women, they do it all. Just shake the testosterone and patriarchy out of your eyes and ears and pay attention for once.
— Anthony Mariani, Editor
