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MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY, VOICE OF A VERY STONED GENERATION.

Gov. Greg Abbott is a big “family values” kind of guy.

In his myopic world, family values translates to no abortions, no homosexual marriage, no medicinal marijuana, no nothing that doesn’t pass his superior moral judgment.

So is anyone surprised that more than 2,000 students at the University of North Texas have signed a petition asking the school to replace Abbott as this year’s graduation commencement speaker?

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Kris Noteboom lamented on the Abbott Free UNT Facebook page that Abbott has “fought in court to restore $5.6 billion in cuts to education” and is “directly fighting the fracking ban that the citizens of Denton, many of them UNT students, voted for.”

Then again, things could be worse. Just ask the students at Southern Methodist University, who will be listening to George W. Bush talk about defending ‘Merica against weapons of mass destruction, and describing how to make whiskers look realistic when painting a cat.

And surely the students at the University of Houston can’t be too ecstatic about Matthew McConaughey giving their commencement speech. I can hear it now: “Awright, awright, awright little babies. You got that piece of paper that says you’re worthy to seeking enlightenment in the free capitalistic world. Guess what? That piece of paper ain’t nothing. You just gotta live, man. Sometimes you gotta skip before you jump. Sometimes you gotta take two steps back just to envision what one step forward even looks like. Starting at the end is sometimes ending at the beginning of the middle. Know what I mean? Awright awright let’s party.”

And I’d hate to be graduating from Rice University and have to listen to former Secretary of State Colin Powell say anything. Powell was the country’s best hope for someone in authority to stand up to Bush, Dick Cheney, and Donald Rumsfeld and demand more evidence, reason, and forethought prior to starting an imperialistic war. Instead, he lent his voice to the aggression chorus, and then retired quietly. Powell’s words could have meant something back then.  Now, not so much.

11 COMMENTS

  1. Meanwhile, you’ve just alienated all the pot-smoking, bongo-playing nudists in Fort Worth–in other words, your base!

    • The article begins with a straw-man argument, for chrissakes, a sure sign that it’s a left-wing hit piece. Many who consider themselves “family values” voters favor SOME right to abortion, gay marriage, and medicinal marijuana. And let’s get real: Most who favor marijuana legalization aren’t so concerned about using marijuana medicinally as they are about getting stoned.

      • You’re full of it Stouty, you’re lying like a rug. No way you’re stupid enought to believe that bunk you wrote. Peckerwoods are Peckerwoods, thats why they are called Peckerwoods. A little bit of abortion is just fine, well….if they’re rich enough, then it might be all right for Queers to marry up…if Hillary has killer back pain, well then it’s just fine to eat a few Mary-Jane pills….we don’t care. You’re right, when we think of Baggers wearing tri-corn hats and Revolutionary Army outfits,, we instantly understand that they are not so hammer-headed that they would wear firearms on their belts to political rallies and scare the snot out of normal folks by packing automatic rifles into Walmart. Yes-sir-ree-bob….when we think of Baggers, then school teachers, doctors, priests, and scientists come immediately to mind. Anyone so incapable that they can’t hold down a job at the Startle-Gram needs help Stouty.You got Obamacare? Your food stamps kicked in yet? I’m praying for you and sweet Roxy is too. Keep on the sunny side.

  2. Got to admit, though, you’re a good mimic. And singer-songwriter. And investigative reporter. But your pecs will never compete with McC’s, which, no doubt, is why you belittle him. Get a life.

  3. Governor Abbott was invited to speak at UNT, which is appropriate. He should be allowed to do so without interference.
    And the graduates should show their opinion of him by rising and turning their backs to him.
    Win-win.

  4. Greg Abbott supports “Open Carry”. Perhaps all of the students who oppose Abbott speaking. should show up in caps and gowns, with weapons strapped on, and watch his security detail flip out.

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