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Because brandishing a loaded AR-15 in public always leads to calm, reasoned debate.

Armed Confederate Idiot Alert!
One Stephen Slade Passariello of Denton made national headlines yesterday when he carried a loaded AR-15 to a protest at the city’s Confederate monument. Passariello was counterprotesting a protest by 69-year-old Willie Hudspeth, who has been trying to get the monument moved since 2000. Well, if you want to convince everybody that you’re right, using a semiautomatic rifle to intimidate an old man is definitely the way to go. Sure enough, people dug through Passariello’s social media profile and found him posting racist crap to Facebook. The funniest part was on his Twitter page, where he describes himself as “pretty chill.” You keep on chillin’, Stephen Slade Passariello! Just stay the hell away from black churches, and me.

Romo, NFL Clash
A spot of bother for the National Football League: A company called Fan Expo LLC is suing the league for canceling the National Fantasy Football League convention in Las Vegas, which was scheduled for the weekend of July 10 and which Tony Romo was helping put on. The NFL claimed the event was in violation of the league’s gambling policy because it was at a convention area of The Venetian, but Fan Expo says the aforementioned area didn’t have gambling and wasn’t sponsored by any casino. Fan Expo is suing for $1 million, which the NFL probably made in the time you took to read this item. By the way, NFL: Dez caught the ball!

Cruisin’
Do you look like Tom Cruise? Well, good for you! And even better now, because the Studio Movie Grill at The Colony is holding a Tom Cruise lookalike contest through next Tuesday, with the winner receiving a year of free movies and a ticket to the grand opening of the new location on July 30. As if a guy who looks like Tom Cruise doesn’t have enough.

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And Finally…
Lindsey Graham responded to Donald Trump giving out his private cell number by destroying a number of Nokia flip phones in this video. Apparently, the Florida Senator had been using one of those old phones. Time to upgrade!

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