The Gays Are Attacking!

7
Posted March 24, 2010 by Jimmy Fowler in Blotch

Gay panic is sweeping the land! This might be news, except that it’s the usual cast of hillbillies, teabaggers, right-wing Christians, and right-wing Christian hillbilly teabaggers (look for the latter category on the 2020 U.S. Census form) who’re getting their panties in a wad. Again.

It’s not insulting enough to the Teabagger Party that so-called “Obamacare” became the law of the land. They also had to watch as gay, Jewish, left-handed Massachusetts congressman Barney Frank helped shepherd that bill through the House, hence their desperate shouts of “Faggot!” at him last weekend. The fearless Frank needs no one to speak for him, but I’ll do it anyway: “Dear Palin Drones — The feds are going to force you to buy health insurance and you can’t do a damn thing about it. Sincerely, The Loudmouth Faggot Congressman Who Helped Make It Happen.”

Also, small-town throngs are storming the gates because a cute lesbian couple and a cute gay couple want to attend their high school proms in, respectively, Mississippi and Georgia. Vengeful Mississippi officials cancelled the whole event and a federal judge is deciding an ACLU challenge. Brave Georgia officials decided to let the gay couple attend. My prediction? Corrupted teens will use the Georgia prom as an excuse to get drunk, high, and even have sex. Then the sun will rise again over Macon County.

Closer to home, Tarleton State University in Stephenville is booking security for this Saturday’s student theater performance of Terrence McNally’s “Corpus Christi,” a sweet-natured 1998 satire that’s provoking fierce protest from locals who consider Branson, MO the theater capital of the world. Kudos to student director John Jordan Otte and the Tarleton brass for proceeding with McNally’s play about a gay Jesus-like character and his followers. Otte is a gay Christian moved to select the script because, in part, it posits the revolutionary concept that Jesus loved gay people, too. (On the whole, “Corpus Christi” is a pretty lame play, but it gains relevance every few years when a new group of “community standards” malcontents who’ve never read it decides to protest. Thanks for the free advertising, Stephenville Morals Brigade!).


7 Comments


  1.  
    Obama's Seat

    You can tell how great a victory this is for The People™ by all the mandates and fines to force people to sign up.

    We loves the smell of actual fascism in the morning (and bankruptcy)




  2.  
    woody

    Yessir, the right is wrong on many things, Including their intolerance for gay prostitution ring run from Barney Frank, which included teenage boys, ya know underage!. Pederasty anyone? I guess Jimmy Fowler thinks sex with underage boys is much more acceptable than the thousands of overtaxed Americans who probably have never teabagged like Jimmy has. Jimmy, I’m sure many people have had sex with farm animals too, but it’s still as sick as Barney with a teenage boy.




  3.  
    Jimmy F.

    Pedophilia? Bestiality? You teabaggers sure do spend a lot of time fantasizing about the sex lives of your political enemies. My advice is to seek professional help immediately. You’ll have more mental health options now that Obama and Frank are FORCING YOU to buy insurance coverage. Ha ha!




  4.  
    Pat X

    Not sure you got a large enough brush or enough tar on it, Mr. Fowler.

    I’m not a Christian, but several of the finest people I have ever known are, and were before they died. You have attacked both my grandmothers, one of my grandfathers and my father, all of whom are dead now and unavailable to counter your general slander.

    I’m not a Tea Party advocate, nor am I a Republican. Some of the smartest people I know, personal friends of mine, are.

    I support gay marriage. And I oppose Obamacare.

    Here are my talking points. Please identify the extremist, alarmist, ignorant or otherwise “elitism challenged” aspects, if you will.

    1) There is no provision in the Constitution to require individuals to enter into any contractual arrangement with others. (There is no clause or law that can force anyone to buy anything from anyone else.)

    2) Taking anything away from an individual without that person’s consent is theft. (Income taxes are straddling the border because participation is coerced, but one does have the choice to leave the country and refuse to play.)

    3) Imposing regulation on all Americans to address the needs of 1 in 6 is equivalent to assigning extra work to a class of 30 students because 5 did not turn in their homework. Reasonable educators would deal with the 5, not the 30. (And don’t forget that the wonderful world of entitlements is so swell that members of Congress do not participate. It’s good for the geese but the ganders won’t touch it. How curious.)

    Any UFO, bigfoot, Rapture or other bizzarities in my views or expression?

    Hm. And imagine. I was raised to be a principled, rational human by right-wing Christians (among others). (My elders were not hillbillies, though. Maybe right-wing Christian itinerant cotton pickers from West Texas had some intellectual or moral edge?)




  5.  
    futuremonkey

    Blotch sure does attract the intelligentsia these days, doesn’t it?

    @Pat X:

    Your mama might have raised you up to be nice ‘n respectable, but she sure didn’t do much about your education.

    1) There is no provision in the Constitution to require any individual to do anything. The Constitution spells out laws the government must follow.

    2) You were just on the cusp of getting this one right, but your Fisher-Price version of Ayn Rand kicked in and you missed it by That Much.

    3) This is just plain stupid. It assumes that the 1 in 6 (where the asdfjkl; did you get that stat?) doesn’t affect the other 5 in any way. Just because they’re outside your monkeysphere doesn’t mean the plight of others won’t affect you.




  6.  
    woody

    Funny Jimmy, since it was the left’s attempt at an ad hominem abusive when using the term tea bagger. And about the obsession for homos to be free to openly flaunt their deviant behaviour while demanding extrajudicial protections from hurt feelings when a normal person’s disgust bellows up for all to hear and see. Hell, I’m all for public display of affection if both lesbians are hot.

    Are you one of those writers or comment posters that inevitably think of small penis size when people are discussing their inalienable right to keep and bear arms?

    woody




  7.  
    Jimmy F.

    Woody, I have no idea what you were trying to say in the above post, but please keep trying to say it in every available forum. You’ll be doing liberals a great service.





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