Super Bowl’s Musical Ouch
During the Civil War, the Northern troops burned crops on Southern plantations but didn’t bother with the fields of black-eyed peas. Northerners considered the peas as cattle food — inedible to humans. Black-eyed peas are a subspecies of the cowpea.
Which brings us to the Super Bowl halftime show.
The Black Eyed Peas are the odorous byproduct of cattle food.
Concertgoers at Cowboy Stadium have complained about the poor sound at shows by Paul McCartney, George Strait, and others. Those problems were magnified tenfold during the Peas’ pitiful karaoke performance, which was mixed more poorly than any Super Bowl halftime show I’ve ever seen on TV, and I’ve seen them all.
Fergie’s vocal mike was too soft in the beginning, and way too loud thereafter. The band’s collective vocals overpowered the music except for a refreshing moment when Slash played the opening strains of “Sweet Child O’ Mine.” That brief respite was obliterated once Fergie opened her mouth.
Comic Book Guy says: “Worst halftime show…ever.”
But the big watercooler topic this morning is how Christina Aguilera forgot lyrics to the national anthem. The TV news heads are all over it, and American super patriots are boo-hooing in the comment sections on Aguilera’s YouTube clips as if she’d burned the flag.
I can forgive Aguilera for messing up a couple of lyrics. People who’ve never stood alone in front of 100,000 people to sing such a daunting song have no idea of how intense and overwhelming it must be.
It’s harder to forgive how she butchered the melody and turned the song into self-absorbed drivel — now that was completely premeditated!
I warned her but she didn’t listen.