Across this great and mighty state of Texas, grown men and women are falling to their knees and weeping like babies as they try to comprehend the new-fangled auto registration stickers.

Meager instructions and cheap, tacky adhesive paper make these little boogers nigh impossible to attach to windshields without them looking like a kindergartener’s failed arts and crafts project. Until a year ago, the registration squares were pre-printed by prisoners, who might be crooks and murderers but at least could make a neat little sticker with crisp corners, so easy to affix. Now, the Texas Department of Transportation gives us “point-of-sale” stickers printed at county offices, allowing the inclusion of info such as license plate and VIN numbers, which cuts down on sticker theft. Fine and dandy, except they really, really suck, and a petulant Static called down to Austin to say so. Stop the presses! Vehicle Titles and Registration Division spokesman David Pyndus was sympathetic and encouraging. “People don’t like the size of the sticker and the adhesive border,” he said, adding that modifications are being considered. Hey, that was easy! Next, Static will solve global warming.

Dude, Where’s the Rest of the Paper?

Can’t find your favorite parts of our rag this week? Here’s the deal: This “Best of 2005” issue, while providing some entertaining and occasionally useful info for our readers, is also our annual 800-lb. gorilla. It regularly crushes the rest of the paper while helping pay for our Bic pens and press hats for the rest of the year. However, some things missing from the print pages will be available this week on our web site at Film reviews and all our listings – calendar, restaurants, clubs, and concerts – are there. Everything else, the news gods willing and the creek don’t rise, will be back in the regular paper next week. Stay tuned.



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