From the WTF? Department. Though hardly recognized as a source of insightful music criticism, Esquire magazine is still one of the best-written publications ever.

The legendary cheesecake stalwart recently hailed Oliver Future’s new album, Pax Futura, thusly: “… like Radiohead’s The Bends and Weezer’s Pinkerton, both a mission statement of creativity and shout-out-loud masterpiece.” Now, let that marinate: The new album from an L.A. band with Fort Worth roots is being compared to Radiohead’s and Weezer’s bests. Oliver Future. In the same breath as Radiohead. Pax Futura. In the same breath as Radiohead’s best album and one of the best albums of all time. (Though I will concede that Ollie’s handiwork may be better or more fully realized and singular than anything Weezer ever shat out.)

The point is: If you’re in a great but no-name band like Oliver Future, whose glorious hand do you have to shake to get a magazine with a zillion readers to compare your new album to The Bends? I mean, seriously. We can only imagine the astronomical heights to which Ollie’s star will shoot as a result of the Esquire tongue-bath. Which makes me wonder: Why are no-name bands as talented or light-years more talented than Ollie, here, in Dallas, or in Wyoming, not being touted in Esquire? Obviously, talent is secondary to some unknown quality. Looks? Charisma? That – how you say? – je ne sais qua. Otherwise, local bands and artists, like Collin Herring, Tame … Tame and Quiet, The Burning Hotels, Stella Rose, Dove Hunter, and The Theater Fire, among others, would be lauded in Esquire every month – and Calhoun would be on the cover.


Every month. I think I’m going to start a new business and call it Knowing the Right Gatekeepers and Tastemakers. Bands won’t have to worry about writing good songs or sounding original. All they’ll have to do is take a shower, get all dressed up, and go on dates, arranged by yours truly, with high-powered Manhattan managing editors or L.A. television producers, and we’ll all have a jolly time bathing in the bucks that come avalanching in. Check out Ollie yourself next month at the Wall of Sound Festival at LaGrave Field, our Thursday Night Live series at Central Market, and at The Moon on West Berry.

Visit … On Saturday, local and long-time C&W outfit Lost Country is celebrating the release of Scattered, the band’s new album, at Arts Fifth Avenue, 1628 5th Ave., in Fort Worth. (See staff writer Jeff Prince’s review of Lost Country’s latest in our July 22 issue. LC fans may want to don protective gear first.) Admission is $10, and proceeds will benefit the venue, a nonprofit arts center and all-around great joint. For more, call 817-923-9500 or visit

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