The LA Times reports that Garth Brooks is coming out of retirement.


Apparently he retired in 2000. Who knew?

Seems like only yesterday his albums were starting to stink and so he tried a publicity stunt, changing his name to Chris Gaines and releasing a “rock album” that didn’t sound any different than anything else. After that flop, he hid, er, fled, uh, retired to be with his family. But he kept popping up here and there and doing shows and charity appearances and releasing rehashed CDs.

Now he’s un-retiring again to do shows in Las Vegas. Apparently Cher is managing his career.

Once Brooks conquers Vegas he’ll announce yet another retirement to spend time searching for the one-armed man, splitting the atom with pointy toed boots, and developing a new alter-ego named Chris Not Againes, My God, Please, Not Againes.

Then he’ll track down and assassinate Osama bin Laden, divorce second wife Tricia Yearwood, cure all airborne diseases, remarry, save mankind, have more kids, and come out of retirement to play Branson for 16 weeks.

Then he’ll retire again, saying he wants to spend more time with family but he won’t be able to recall which one.


  1. @garthrocks

    Garth Brooks is better than everyone else? You need to expand your music library.

    Try listening to Raul Malo, The Mavericks, Kelly Willis, or any multitude of alt country acts. Go to and listen for free.

  2. Chase: Calling someone “retarded” isn’t very nice and it’s demeaning to the mentally challenged. “Dumbass” would have been a more apt description.

  3. FW2 — Are you sure you’re not thinking about Billy Ray Cyrus?

    I don’t recall Garth ever wearing a mullet. But if he did, then I take back everything I said about him.

    Long live the mullet! I’m growing mine back, by the way. Why? Because I can.