Coverage of yesterday’s Dallas Cowboys-Seattle Seahawks game opened with a shot of Wade Phillips standing on the sideline, staring blankly ahead with glazed eyes, looks of both confusion and constipation on his face.


The camera then switched to Seattle coach Jim Mora trotting down the sideline, slapping helmets and firing up his players.

Those contrasting styles appeared to favor Mora once the game got started and the hapless Seapidgeons drove into Cowboys territory and kicked a field goal. The ‘pidgeons even made the Cowboys nervous for most of the first half before finally getting their wings clipped.

Way to go Wade! You’ve got your team at 5-2 and in a first-place tie with the Eagles going into this weekend’s game, which will determine top dog.

But don’t think for a second that your coaching slip-ups went unnoticed. Even in yesterday’s dominating win you pissed off Big Jimbo, my football fanatic friend from East Texas: “What in the hell was Felix Jones doing returning kicks late in the game?” Jimbo demanded to know. “Next to Tony Romo and DeMarcus Ware, Felix is the key to this team’s success. To put him in harm’s way when he is just coming off injuries makes no sense.”

Seeing former Cowboys running back Julius Jones was nice (particularly since he was running for Seattle). Jones struck me as a good guy during his difficult years here in Dallas when he was criticized for his inability to become Emmitt Smith (not an easy task).

I can’t figure out what color that is on the Seahawks uniforms. It looks like someone took green, blue, gray, and purple paint and mixed it all in a blender on puree for 30 seconds, and then poured it over a puddle of vomit.

The pink shoes, gloves, towels, caps, and other attire worn by NFL players during October’s breast cancer awareness month are all gone now. I miss the bright pink (especially while watching a game involving the Seapidgeons, whose pants, jerseys and helmets are all the same dull color). Oh well, I still have my car to look at.

During the second quarter the TV showed a highlight clip of Terrell Owens scoring a touchdown for the Buffalo Bills. Wow, wonders never cease. Owens has been a complete bust for the Bills this season (he’s caught only one TD pass all year). The Bills ended up losing 31-10 to the Houston Texans and dropped to a 3-5 record.

Halftime highlights included T.O. scoring for the Bills, to which Terry Bradshaw said, “Hey, Terrell, welcome to the highlights. You finally did something.”

T.O. used to always “dunk” the football over the goalposts in Dallas. Miles Austin tried it after his third quarter touchdown and…couldn’t do it. The bottom rung of the goalpost is 10-feet high, just like a basketball goal. Austin can probably dunk a basketball, but he came up short on yesterday’s attempted football dunk.

Speaking of Owens, I heard something the other day that reminded me of him: There is no “I” in TEAM…but there is a “me.”

Enough about T.O., how ‘bout them Cowboys!

Big Jimbo felt nostalgic: “This game reminded me of the 1970s Cowboys and the early ‘90s Cowboys,” he said. “They had an inferior opponent at home, put them away early and didn’t give them a chance to get back in it.”

‘Course, any Cowboys fan has a right to feel uncertain these days: “The team is playing at a very high level and the next two weeks on the road at Philly and Green Bay should really tell us if this team has what it takes,” Jimbo said.

Patrick Crayton continued his Jekyll and Hyde ways, fumbling a punt and a hand-off before returning another punt for a TD.

Ken Hamlin finally hit somebody yesterday. Unfortunately, the play was already whistled dead and he was tagged with a penalty.

Someone needs to put an APB on the MIA MartyB ASAP.

Offensive coordinator Jason Garrett called an excellent game, which should silence his detractors for a week.

Games balls go to Austin on offense and Ware on defense.

Bench the Bum Award goes to (and I really hate to say this because this guy works hard, blocks downfield, and keeps his mouth shut)…but…it goes to Roy Williams. Dude, how long you been here? Why are you the only receiver who seems constantly out of whack with Romo? When are you going to show us something? You’re letting the undrafted Austin and the unpredictable Crayton make you look like the unreliable Williams.

Separated at Birth Award: Jason Garrett and his twin gone bad.


  1. Let Roy Williams run back punts and kickoffs…It’s no big deal if he gets hurt and maybe we can get some productivity out of him for a change.