This makes me giggle: Online voting has just begun for the 2012 Hottest Moms Under 34 and Over 35 contest, sponsored by the Fort Worth-Dallas classic rock station Lone Star 92.5 FM. Do yourself a favor and peruse the photos of women in bikinis or skimpy tops and shorts, especially the Over 35 crowd, which would be my peers. These women are proudly strutting their tanned, curvy stuff, as if to say: Motherhood doesn’t wreck your body, it makes you look like Tawny Kitaen. (Google that name, young ones).
“Wilddflowrr” is definitely one of my favorites. In her head shot she’s seductively tonguing her own necklace. The caption reads “Wishing you were here…” Is Lone Star 92.5 completely sure Wilddflowrr has procreated? She doesn’t mention kids anywhere. On the other hand, “Mandy” bubbles over with multiple exclamation points when announcing: “I am 43 years old, a mother of 3, and a grandmother!!!” She looks every bit the doting grandma lying upside down on a bed, her impressive cleavage threatening to conceal the lower half of her face.
Before people come down on me like a ton of bricks, let me say: Kudos to these women for taking excellent care of themselves. And yes, even moms have a right to look and feel desirable. I’m mostly poking fun at this because 1) I’m gay and frequently think that what straight guys find hot is hilarious and 2) my own dear mother – who favored an ensemble of tennis shoes, polyester pants, and floral print blouses – would’ve laughed her ass off, too. But never mind. May the hottest mom win!