Ryan Grant, former owner of the Flashdancer Cabaret strip joint, was indicted yesterday for allegedly trying to hire someone to kill Arlington Mayor Robert Cluck. Now’s the time for me to admit something kind of embarrassing: I am a little jealous of Mayor Cluck for his unwitting involvement in this sordid but highly gossip-worthy situation.

Let me explain: I live an uneventful, unglamorous print journalist’s life. To my knowledge, no one has ever hated me so passionately that they’ve set up meetings with wiretapped FBI informants to have me killed. Presumably, before this whole mess, no one ever hated Mayor Cluck that passionately either. For God’s sake, he’ s the mayor of Arlington and his last name is “Cluck.” Neither fact would seem to inspire mobster-like bloodlust and a revenge plot.

If you look past the whole afraid-for-his-life-and-the-safety-of-his-family thing, Mayor Cluck now has a story that will bring any barroom or dinner party to a rapt silence. “Oh, yeah, that reminds me of the time a strip club owner tried to hire a hitman to kill me and the feds intervened.” Be honest –– you wouldn’t mind repeating that story a million times either, would you? Luckily, the Cluck family emerged unharmed and with the consolation prize of a cool anecdote.