I almost had a heart attack when I saw this headline: “7-Eleven Bans ‘The Bomber’ From Its Stores Nationwide.”
As it turns out, the convenience store chain is protecting everyone’s tender ocular apparatuses from glimpsing a picture of suspected Boston bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, who is featured on the cover of Rolling Stone.
(Most everyone has seen this loser’s photo a hundred times, so I don’t get the censorship. I don’t recall similar complaints over the years when Charles Manson, Ted Bundy, or dozens of other criminal-minded terrorists have appeared on magazine and newspaper covers.)
Anyhow, I was afraid the store was banning one of my favorite late-night treats, the thing that will surely give me a genuine heart attack in due time: The Bomb.
I’ve never eaten one of these 14-ounce frozen burritos in daylight, but I can assure you they are quite tasty in the wee hours after partaking of the spirits.
Note: The Bomb is not for wussies. It’s got about 1,000 calories, more than 40 grams of fat, and a day’s recommended intake of sodium.
This thing’s been terrorizing my stomach for years, but I’d hate to see it banned.