Ah, nothing better than some Texans going crazy over special forces military exercises being carried out in Texas and six other states this summer. The internet is full of people wondering whether the exercise will actually be the start of martial law and we’ll all be rounded up and put into FEMA camps. Other folks are certain the military is coming for our guns.
The exercise that’s currently got some people’s panties in a knot is Operation Jade Helm 15. And worse, those people include Chuck Norris! And none other than Senator Ted Cruz, the only person on the planet to ever miss the point of Dr. Seuss’ Green Eggs and Ham.
In a story on Bloomberg, Cruz talked about Jade Helm 15. “My office has reached out to the Pentagon to inquire about this exercise. We are assured it is a military training exercise. I have no reason to doubt those assurances but I understand the reason for concern and uncertainty, because when the federal government has not demonstrated itself to be trustworthy in this administration, the natural consequence is that many citizens don’t trust what it is saying.”
Even Governor Abbott has chimed in on this, saying he’ll send the Texas State Guard to monitor the exercises.
All of which gave Jon Stewart enough material for five minutes on last night’s The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.
“Critics call it prep for martial law,” he said of the exercises… “You know who is calling it a Texas takeover? Lone Star Lunatics…
“It’s not like this is being taken seriously by anyone with real power,” he said, which was followed by the announcement that Abbott will send the state guard to monitor the exercises. “It’s like a little dog growling at a big dog, an eight-year-old picking a fight with the Predator.”
For the kicker, Stewart pointed out that similar exercises have frequently been held in Texas and that no one had a problem with them, even when they were held on a larger scale, as in 2005, when George Bush was president.
“I don’t know what’s changed since then,” said Stewart, just as a picture of President Obama came up on a studio screen. Stewart glanced at it, then spit out the words, “Oh, right…America elected a brutal-socialist-Muslim-Kenyan-ineffective-Harvard-school-constitutional-professor-agitator-Warlock!”
That pretty much sums it up.
Didn’t Rachel Maddow write this same article?
If she did, she copied me. Darn, I love people copying my work!!!!!
Why do these Bagger nit-wits hate Texas? I can not accept the idea that Greg Abbott is this stupid. He’s the Governor of Texas for crying out loud. Isn’t he just sucking up to his mouth-breathing Bagger constituency? You cannot convince me than someone with a University degree, who then finished law school, then made an ambulance-chasing lawyer, and who is devious enough to wring ten million dollars out of an Insurance Company for a limb falling on his dip-stick head while he’s strolling down a sidewalk in the middle of a raging,crashing thunderstorm, and then runs for office and is elected Governor by his fellow Bible-thumping, racist, Texas Repugs and Tea-Bagging nit-wits can be that stupid. It’s a trick. Marshall Law? Fema Camps? U.S. government coming for our guns? Chuck Norris? Why do decent citizens sit by and pat their foot while this insanity just rolls cheerfully along? A Fort Worth cop shot a young man down like a dirty dog in North Fort Worth and our big shots clam up and lie like a rug and citizens just sit here scratching our heads. I say maybe it’s getting time to kick ass and take names! Is this what we have come to? Sweet, bleeding Jesus.