Static has no excuse for waiting weeks to look at its Tivo-recorded premiere of Jail, except maybe that it seemed like duty rather than entertainment. Wrong-o.

The KDFI/Channel 27 show by the creator of COPS features life inside jails, including ours truly. And, boy, what shenanigans went on at Tarrant County’s lock-up. The first episode featured a buff and effeminate male inmate causing a stir in stir by wearing a super-tight uniform. The lieutenant on duty worried that all that prancing was akin to dangling a pork chop in a lion’s den, so he asked the dude to don baggier garb. The inmate went diva, raging against the blasphemy of concealing his wonderfulness under a frumpy uniform (imagine Madonna being handed a polka-dot muu-muu on tour). Surprisingly, the affable lieutenant was patient as he encouraged Mr. Madonna to make a costume change. After long minutes of negotiation, the inmate agreed, and all was happy again in jail land.

A cynical Static figured the lieutenant was just making nice for the camera and administered the Chinese water torture afterward, but Sheriff Dee Anderson said Lt. William Olds is a genuinely nice guy whose first option is to treat inmates with tolerance. “That story is the perfect example of how we want the jail run,” he said. “We couldn’t let that situation continue, and Lt. Olds, through negotiation and talk and maybe a little begging, he got things done. If we’d gone in and forcibly made that guy change outfits, it might have been a different outcome.”

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