Stories circulating at the Dallas Cowboys training camp: Will Tony Romo finally win a playoff game? Will Marion Barber and Felix Jones carry the offense on their massive legs? Will offensive coordinator Jason Garrett become a consistent game caller? Will Roy Williams become a premier No. 1 receiver?

One of the most interesting side stories revolves around the tight end tandem of Martellus Bennett and Jason Witten. People at camp are noting the strong emergence of second-year tight end Bennett and salivating over the trouble that defenses will have covering “Marty B” and perpetual Pro-Bowler and all-around classy guy Witten.

But the important question is this: What are we going to call them?


You know, like in “Talladega Nights” there was “Shake and Bake.”

Cowboys writer and broadcaster Mickey Spagnola recently came up with “Double Trouble.” But that’s just uncreative. There has already been an NFL tandem in the past known as “Double Trouble.” Likewise for “Smash and Dash,” “Hit and Run,” and “Wash and Wear.”

So, what’s a new and creative nickname for Bennett and Witten?

Well, let’s see. On the one hand you have Bennett, a young, brash, media savvy African-American with an engaging smile who calls himself Marty B, has his own YouTube TV channel, and makes outrageous and often funny videotapes that sometimes get him fined by the Cowboys or forced to apologize for being too controversial.

Then there’s stoic, tough-as-nails veteran Witten, a quiet white boy who lets his bruising play do his talking for him and avoids media attention and controversy.

How about “Yin and Yang” — or better yet, “Yin and Bang?”

Or since Witten was accused of being a snitch last year for anonymously throwing Terrell Owens under the bus, and Bennett has decorated his body with tattoos, how about….Tat and the Rat?

Anybody out there got any suggestions? This is really, really important.


  1. You must be talking about some local pee-wee Steelers, what the?, ’cause the “Stillers” I know and love hail from the great town of Sixburgh. Not Fiveburgh. But SIXburgh 😉

  2. Hey,
    Big Steelers fan. Mr. Sixburg, why are you reading articles about the Cowboys if your such a huge steelers fan? Sounds to me like your deep down a True Cowboys fan. Don’t hide it. Its ok to lie to us but dont lie to yourself.It won’t matter anyway after Romo wins us 6 this year and then it will be, what have you done for me lately?

  3. OK, John. Let’s call each other names. That’s really fun and mature. You came up with “Deusch bag.” (I don’t even know what that means. ) How’s ’bout I call you … idiot redneck.

    Your turn!

  4. John,
    Anthony and all of Steeler nation suffer from a massive inferiority complex. He deserves your pity, not your contempt. The Steelers could bore the public on route to another 10 superbowls, and they would still be looking up at the Cowboys: America’s team, the most popular sports franchise in the world. Wait until Ant’ny bores us with how blue-collar the Shitsburgh Steelers are. It’s sad really.

    Anthony, let me buy you a beer, so you can gloat over winning the superbowl last year. That’ll make you feel better.

  5. Nicely put Eric G. Steelers would still be at 5 if Brady didn’t get hurt, but hey Im no poor sport, congrats Steelers congrats.

    -Idiot Rednick

  6. Eric. “Bore the public”? Hmm. What’s particularly boring about watching a team whose suffocating defense ranks No. 1 of the past 10 years and whose quarterback regularly leads his team on final-drive victories (and who’s won two Super Bowls over the past five years)?

    Just because the Steelers organization, unlike the Cowboys’, is classy and doesn’t have thugs and loud-mouths on the team — and its own paparazzi detail — doesn’t mean the black-and-gold are “boring.” In fact, I’ll take kickass football over HBO specials and Hollywood romances any day.

    But I guess when your onfield performances are as horrible and pathetic as the Cowboys’, your owner has to find SOME WAY to make his team relevant. So sad.

    Thanks for the congrats, John. I know it probably took a lot for you as a Cowboys fan to say it, so my hat’s off to you. But c’mon. Brady? The Steelers played the toughest schedule anyone’s seen over the past 10 years — you’ve got to give the team a little credit.

  7. And “intelligent human being,” sorry we’re not critiquing Pynchon’s new novel or limning the theoretical deficiencies inherent in String Theory. I guess we’re just not as “intelligent” as you. Perhaps you’ll find this more to your liking.

  8. Steelers dude-
    It takes me nothing to congratulate another persons victory. I am no Lebron James. I want my team to win but I am not going to hate on others success. Oh and yea you c’mon if Brady doesn’t get hurt, steelers get destroyed by that beast patriots team just like they do every year. Don’t worrry you will see it again this year even after a knee injury.

    No need arguing with someone that knows the truth but doesn’t want to believe it.

  9. Hey, John. Well, we can debate what could’ve happened last year all day long. All that’s known for certain is that the Steelers played solid football last year. They weren’t overpowering. Just solid. Which, to me, is emblematic of a good team and an even better organization.

    And I think you meant to address Eric with that last comment.

    Lastly, I don’t understand the LeBron reference. Did he not congratulate an opponent last year or something? I just had never heard anything.

  10. [offensive content removed] This year is about America and Americas team. Go America and Go cowboys! P.S. Why are you so obssesed with America Steelers fan? America will dominate you in a game and your cry baby qb is hurt again. America=championship Sixburg=Whiney Lucky stuck up Baby’s and like every cocky person vick, plaxico, etc you will crumble. [offensive content removed]