Forget 2012 doomsday prophecies, the apocalypse has obviously begun already — Nashville Songwriters Association International has just named Toby Keith the songwriter/artist of the decade.

Toby Effing Keith?

My gawd.


That guy’s sings flatter than a Lubbock parking lot, and he’s a huge blowhard with a tiny morsel of talent.

His lyrics are laughable, even when he’s being serious, which he was when he wrote this drivel:

Ohhh Justice will be served
And the battle will rage
This big dog will fight
When you rattle his cage
And you’ll be sorry that you messed with
The U.S. of A.
‘Cause we’ll put a boot in your ass
It’s the American way

And who can forget this early classic?:

We talk about your work how your boss is a jerk
We talk about your church and your head when it hurts
We talk about the troubles you’ve been having with your brother
About your daddy and your mother and your crazy ex-lover
We talk about your friends and the places that you’ve been
We talk about your skin and the dimples on your chin
The polish on your toes and the run in your hose
And God knows we’re gonna talk about your clothes
You know talking about you makes me smile
But every once in awhile

I wanna talk about me
Wanna talk about I
Wanna talk about number one Oh my me my
What I think, what I like, what I know, what I want, what I see
I like talking about you you you you, usually, but occasionally
I wanna talk about meeeeee


  1. Wow – your blog actually shows how little you know about Toby Keith. The majority of the lyrics you printed were from a song not written by Toby but by Bobby Braddock. Braddock is a member of the Nashville Songwriters Hall of Fame and ACM and CMA Song of The Year recipient who has penned #1 hits for artists such as Willie Nelson, Tammy Wynette and George Jones including The Country Song Of The Century (R&R) and Best Country Song of All Time (BBC) – “He Stopped Loving Her Today”. As for the lyrics you quoted from “Courtesy Of The Red White and Blue”, why don’t you ask the men and women who serve in the military and put their lives on the line just how laughable they think those lyrics are??? Lastly, for your comment about Toby singing flatter than a parking lot, you obviously have never been to one of his shows or probably any country music concert for that matter. I think you wrote this article more on what you think you know about Toby Keith rather than on what you actually know about him. Why don’t you put your headphones back on, listen to some more Dixie Chicks, and try again.

  2. AJ,

    Toby Keith is probably a great guy but his music is terrible. You have no taste in music if you listen to this trainwreck called an artist. SO, good to know how out of whack Nashville(and you) are about country music. Try listening to some Texas country. Its called talent and Toby has very little. And you might not have any either if you think Nashville is worth a sh#t to real country music. Go have Toby’s babies AJ. Nobody in Texas cares about him.

  3. AJ,

    You’re right, I’m not much of a Toby Keith fan. But it’s not because I don’t like country music (I do) or that I haven’t listened to Keith perform live (I have — and he sang flat or badly much of the time).

    All I know is this: His music is vapid and superficial, his uber-patriotism is annoying, and if he’s the songwriter of the decade then I’m the boy toy of the millenium.

    On the other hand, I’ve loved George Jones for years and saw him at Bass Hall a while back. I also love the song “He Stopped Loving Her Today.”

    As for the men and women who make career decisions to join the military and go overseas and put their lives on the line, I respect them for following their heart’s desire.

    But I also respect the men and women who choose not to help perpetuate an industrial military complex that relies on wars to maintain profits and make Halliburton CEOs and other corporations rich.

  4. It’s a political choice, he’s a political guy.

    Let’s hope the political does not seep into higher awards, such as Nobel and Academy – that would be a disaster.

  5. AW JEE, Suck it up…I really like him, He’s good looking,can put over a song that can make me laugh, and I think he is a good citizen. He has spent time entertaing the troops. His song The American Way was a great boost to most of us after 9-11…Good on ya Toby

  6. Hey, Mark…

    I can’t stand it when people think they have better “taste” than everyone else and they attack people for having different taste. I’m a huge Toby Keith fan. I may not agree with a lot of his politics, but I think he writes songs that people can relate to and that are catchy. He’s no Mozart or Lennon, but his music is the best mainstream country radio has to offer other than people who brag about being a “country boy” or “country man” or “redneck man”, like every other song on country radio. Before you dismiss me as having bad taste, I also enjoy Johnny Cash, Dave Matthews Band, John Fogerty, Bob Dylan, Bruce Springsteen and many others. To Jeff Prince, I disagree with your post, but I will tell you that I consider myself a liberal who happens to love Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue. It’s not a masterpiece, but it did reflect how I felt after 9/11. I didn’t agree with the Iraq War and I’m not too supportive of our Afghanistan effort.

  7. Tamy,

    We know he makes bad music. Go have his babies.


    The other bands you listed are good artists, but really, Toby Keith is a joke. And to not support the war and like Toby Keith is a contradiction of its own. You must be confused all the time if this is really the case.