Former Rangers’ pitcher Vicente Padilla, who was released from the team late last season for being a jerk and throwing at opposing player’s heads, was accidentally shot in the leg by his body guard while hunting. I’m not one to make light of someone getting shot, but it was apparently just a flesh wound, and, well, Padilla is a jerk.  So here is a list of jokes I’ve compiled about the incident:

Why did he hire Dick Cheney as a body guard?

Can we get that guy to be T.O.’s body guard?


I heard that he threw at his body guard’s head earlier that day.

That’s all I got. Feel free to add your own.