Congratulations, Tiger Woods.

Your contrite groveling after being caught enjoying hanky panky with frisky women marks the 100 millionth self-serving, two-faced, disingenuous, worthless celebrity apology of recent memory. Somebody give that man a gold watch and a key to the city!

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I’ve ranted in past blogs about celebs and other people in the news who get caught saying or doing something (usually something that they really enjoyed saying or doing), and then once they feel the heat and fear the loss of sponsors, endorsements, respect, jobs, gigs, or whatever, then they come out with an insincere apology.  (See Kanye West, David Letterman, Chris Brown, Alec Baldwin, Sharon Stone, and on and on. I lose track of them all.)

Tiger’s lengthy apology began with him saying, “I have let my family down and I regret those transgressions with all of my heart. I have not been true to my values and the behavior my family deserves. I am not without faults and I am far short of perfect.”

And he ended it by saying, “I will strive to be a better person and the husband and father that my family deserves. For all of those who have supported me over the years, I offer my profound apology.”

In between was a lot of stuff about how he resented the prying eyes of the press and others wanting to peer into his personal business. This middle section is what he should have said in lieu of an apology, except in a much more concise manner.

I suggest this as the perfect statement:

“I don’t owe anyone of you vultures any explanation for my personal business, so butt the hell out and get your own life.”

At least Adam Lambert had the guts to say, nope, he wasn’t sorry in the least for kissing a guy and simulating oral sex on TV,  shocking viewers during a recent awards show. Just because some other folks didn’t like it didn’t mean he felt obliged to apologize. What a concept.


  1. Tiger Woods should have spoken the truth from the beginning. By the way, he also should have been faithful to his wife or he should have been man enough to get out of his marriage before he decided to be unfaithful. He is a COWARD!!!!!
    He no longer deserves or receives the respect I had for him. He is still a great golfer but his affairs have so lowered him in my eyes that I do not want him to win another tournament. Let a good honest man do that. I don’t fault him his relationships with other women. That is his business. He should have left his wife or never have married. His poor kids. He is a fool.