What was up with that idiotic aw-shucks expression that Rick Perry wore during last night’s GOP gubernatorial primary debate? The raised eyebrows, the squinty eyes, the earnest grin-with-overbite: He looked like he was running for dogcatcher of Mayberry. The buffoonish mask was intended to show that Perry was an affable guy ready for an open exchange of ideas. But straining to appear like he cared about the thoughts and opinions of others gave the guv a case of sore facial muscles. But damn, does that boy love Texas.

Meanwhile, Kay Bailey Hutchison looked like a substitute teacher trying too hard to establish authority over the classroom. Toughness doesn’t really suit her as a pose. Thoughtfulness would be a more fitting impression to convey with her soft-spoken style, except that she was addressing the conservative base of the Texas Republican Party. They’re deeply suspicious of people who think. Still, Hutchison got misty-eyed every time the great state of Texas was mentioned.

Crazy teabagger/home schooler Debra Medina wants to dismantle the EPA; mentions at the drop of a hat that she carries a gun in her car (hell, she’d like to pack heat while she’s grocery shopping, but she manages to restrain herself); believes a woman’s body is the property of the state; wants to eliminate the property tax and replace it with a sales tax that’ll hit the working poor much harder; and wants to reclaim Texas’ constitutional “sovereignty” (as in, enjoy some federal funding but ignore all federal mandates). Her a capella version of “The Yellow Rose of Texas” was stirring, though.

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Texas Republicans, are you proud of what you saw last night?


  1. If you already made up your mind you’re just going to skewer them..why watch? i’m not Republican, but it will be a long time before I vote for ANY Democrat after seeing what Obama and his cronies have done. Transparency my ass, change (yea to complete socialism). Even his own party is bailing on him.