Many of us have long thought the ballyhooed rivalry between Fort Worth and Dallas is kind of – sorry, La Palin – retarded. For further proof, listen to today’s cute-as-a-migraine report on NPR’s “All Things Considered” called “Dallas, Fort Worth Battle for Cultural Supremacy.” Listeners must sit through a canned catfight between commentators pretending to take sides – FW has “skyscraper envy,” says the fake pro-Dallas side, while the fake FW cheerleader declares this city is “where the West begins and the East peters out.” After all that, they give the impression that the sum of Fort Worth’s cultural scene is the Kimbell and the Stockyards, while Dallas’ sole artistic resources are its new downtown performing arts center and the Turtle Creek Chorale.
Then, in an odd bit of shaming intended to be whimsical, a New York arts commentator for NPR abruptly interrupts to finish the piece with: “Oh, Fort Worth and Dallas, stop the fighting. The truth is, you’re both culturally impoverished shitholes.” Okay, he didn’t use those words exactly, but that’s pretty much what he meant. Bizarrely funny.