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OK, OK! I watch Gossip Girl. But don’t ask me why. Maybe it’s the New York City setting. The campus of Columbia University, one of my beloved alma maters, has been featured prominently in the show (mainly in early episodes), and since I lived in the Big Apple for several years and loved every minute of it –– except when people’s stupid car alarms would go off randomly in the middle of the night for freaking hours –– I guess I just miss the place.

I probably also tune into GG, as we GG “fans” call it, because it airs on Monday nights (on the CW) at 8 –– Mon-days are such a beatdown that all I want to do when I get home is turn off my brain. Even watching Antiques Roadshow (Monday nights at 7 on KERA) can sometimes make me feel as if I’m cramming for a test on Louis Comfort Tiffany’s entré into Art Nouveau or on the Hudson River School. Can’t. Help. Brain. From. Learning!!!

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I definitely don’t watch GG for the (eh-OK) acting. Or the (only-semi-hot) chicks. Or the (only-decent-looking) clothes. Or the (flimsy) plots. I guess that like the only other GG-watchin’ Weekleteers, ad rep Ashlyn and film critic Kristian, I’m just a sucker for ill-conceived drama.

What I think I’m trying to say is that I’ll be watching GG next Monday but not only because the drama-dowsing part of my brain forces me to. I’ll be watching also because “Quiet Assurance” –– a song by Telegraph Canyon off the Fort Worth septet’s most recent and sparkling album, The Tide and The Current –– will be aired during the episode, entitled Dr. Strangeloved, according to Velvet Blue Music, Telegraph’s record label.

In the song, frontman Chris Johnson and company sneak up on Springsteen and car-jack The Boss’ chrome-wheeled, fuel-injected, hemi-powered, burned-out Chevrolet and ram it through Walls of Sound, all crashing drums and church organs, but only to do a little quiet skipping/semi-funky-drums-and-acoustic-guitar celebration jig on the other side. Upbeat and propulsive yet cute, especially during the jiggy part, the song would be great for a scene between Serena and B saying –– another –– long and wordless but not necessarily sad goodbye or a prolonged shot of Little J sitting by herself in one of her trademarked black micro-minis and trademarked black designer stockings and contemplating overdosing after eyebrows-guy rejects her or a prolonged shot of Dan sitting by himself and contemplating dropping out to go tripping balls through South America after getting rejected by the Tisch writing program or of Chuck and B saying –– another –– long and wordless but not necessarily sad goodbye or … oh, I could go on. Sadly enough.

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