For a crowd that claims to want less government in their everyday lives, right-wing Texas legislators have a thing about policing people’s bodies. Same-sex marriage rights have long been considered a non-starter in this state. As a result, some committed couples have been denied legal protections because of their genitalia. Then there’s the perennial call for state surveillance of the female anatomy when women opt with their doctors to undergo abortions. And now, Texas Republicans want to get inside the poor and the unemployed. Literally. Mandatory drug tests for certain kinds of assistance are being proposed in the current session.

Geez, right-wingers, why not try some sweet talk if you want to penetrate me that badly? Mood lighting, a couple of glasses of chardonnay, and a little Luther Vandross would be much more cost-effective than the legislative process.