Sweet mother of god, can we hurry up and get this show on the road? Marriage equality, gay marriage, bromances with (state and federal) benefits –– call ‘em what you like, but legal same-sex unions are coming to all fifty states in the next decade or so. And that includes gun-totin’, Babtist-spoutin’, states rights-lovin’ Texas. I know it, you know it, and Rick Perry/Greg Abbott know it. 2013 saw the number of states where gay unions were legalized double. There’ve been some recent court setbacks due to important appeals process stuff, but brace yourself, Texas: The Queer Marriage Menace is on the way, whether you like it or not.

For a long time, it was easy for tradition-minded Texans to pretend like two women getting hitched was something weird and foreign, something… northeastern. Massachusetts? Over-educated political elites made it happen. Vermont? Those dairy farmers have always taken the whole “tain’t nobody’s bizness if you do” credo way too seriously.

But then 2013 rolled around, and suddenly New Mexico and Utah (now in limbo), both red states, turned a flaming shade of pink in the gay nuptials department. New Mexico is sort of Vermont-ish in that it has plenty of wide open spaces populated by folks with a strong sense of individual rights. But Utah? At this rate, if Texas keeps dragging its shitkickers on marriage equality, we’re gonna be forced to stand by and watch while Oklahoma makes a buttload of cash off the gay biker wedding industry. (If it doesn’t exist yet, that state is surely poised to invent it.)

Modern Lights

Utah was bad enough, but nobody wants to trail Oklahoma in a race for socially progressive policies. Get your act together, anti-gay Texans. Stop blocking cultural change that’s just, fair, and –– yep, I’ll use the word –– moral. Or don’t stop. Either way, the courts will eventually force marriage equality on your redneck asses. So drop your pants and bend over or raise a toast to the happy bride and groom couples-to-be. The choice is yours.


  1. There isn’t ANYTHING moral about gay marriage. I’m sorry; that’s just totally delusional.

    If you’re going to be gay, be gay and “owe it” but don’t try to make it moral and ‘shove it’ down people’s throats. I mean, after all, if you’re so right about being gay, why try to MAKE everybody accept your way of thinking. Who are you trying to prove it to or convince? Just be you and be gay.

    I’m just saying…

    • Because that’s what it means to live in a pluralistic society: Everybody has the same rights under the law. The fact that gay people are denied marriage and all the benefits that come with it? That’s immoral. The judge in Oklahoma got into the moral implications of gay marriage and came to precisely that conclusion.

      Oh, and you should probably stop using the phrase “shove it down our throats” when it comes to gay rights. The term has sexual implications that you might not be comfortable with.

      • The only reason for marriage is man and wife to reproduce and bare fruit. We ain’t pay in for your gayness. Yes it is about cash like everything else. Gender is not a political issue nor a choice. Let’s give everyone with big ears a free ride too?

  2. There is no good reason to deny that we must keep evolving until an adult, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, monogamy or polyamory, race, or religion is free to marry any and all consenting adults. The limited same-gender freedom to marry is a great and historic step, but is NOT full marriage equality, because equality “just for some” is not equality. Let’s stand up for EVERY ADULT’S right to marry the person(s) they love. Get on the right side of history!

  3. @neverpost

    “don’t try to make it moral and shove it down people’s throats.”
    “why try to make everybody accept your way of thinking.”
    “who are you trying to prove it to or convince?”

    No one is doing that. People just want the right to be left alone, i.e.: a married gay couple = a married straight couple under the law anywhere they choose to live.

  4. Freedom for gays to marry is nobody’s business, just like straight couples right to marry is nobody’s business. The people who claim it’s about morals are just showing their intolerance,hatred, and are doing it for the sake of their religious viewpoint. The problem is we all have the right freedom of religion and we should have the right to marry who we want without being oppressed by judgmentals.

  5. Religious belief is no basis for morality Or have I been wrong all along about owning other humans? killing people for wearing different fibers? sleeping with my family? There’s been thousands of religious texts long before this Christian bible that you say decides your “morality”. But I suppose they were wrong and your view is right, and every single human being on earth before your religion must be burning in hell for their failing to accept your savior who hadn’t been invented yet??? Keep your church at church and leave the decisions up to the grown ups who understand that right and wrong shouldn’t be based on hope of reward, or fear of punishment.

    “Compassion is the basis for morality”. — Authur Schopenhauer.

    For a Christianity that claims so much righteousness and Godliness, you sure do have a lot of hate inside.