With the lightning-fast way news cycles and political fortunes change nowadays, the 2016 presidential election might as well be a century away. Predictions are pointless, but they’re also free and easy to make, so I’m gonna offer one right now: With his comments in San Francisco last night comparing gayness and alcoholism, not to mention his basic endorsement of so-called “gay reparative” therapy, Rick Perry killed his (already slim) chances at becoming the next U.S. president.

Let me explain my prophecy. I don’t live in a rainbow flag-draped fantasy where LGBT people are some kind of deal-breaker for the majority of U.S. voters. There are still millions of conservatives, mostly in the Republican Party, who’re actively hostile toward the idea of same-sex relationships. And frankly, many moderates –– and a lot of left-leaning people –– are languishing somewhere between apathy and vague sympathy where LGBT folks are concerned. At this point in American history, I’d argue that most voters (even many Republicans) have accepted LGBT citizens as a fact of life, if not necessarily as a civil rights cause to get deeply passionately about.

But gay conversion therapy is a joke almost everywhere (except the Texas Republican Party). To most American voters –– even most conservatives –– it’s an absurd, fringe-y notion, as it should be. And in 2014, any national politician who aspires to the Oval Office should not be caught endorsing gay reparative therapy at a San Francisco forum on economics, fer Chrisake. Perry’s comments were fringe-y and bizarre, but even worse, they were undisciplined, ill-informed and comically oblivious to both his immediate audience (did I mention he was speaking in San Francisco?!!!) and to The Real World circa 2014. You don’t have to be in love with The Gays to think: This Perry guy’s never gonna be ready for the adult political world.

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So you heard it here first: Rick Perry stomped his presidential aspirations to death last night by once again being himself –– an arrogant, small-time rube who’s been coddled by the Texas political bubble. There will be no dramatic denunciations from major conservatives, but donors and important figures in the Republican Party will, from here on out, begin distancing themselves slowly and quietly. Betcha I’m right about this. Betcha.


  1. But he’s not running for President. He’s running for the Republican nomination for. President, and you can’t ever be too crazy and ill-informed for that.

  2. You’re wrong, Roy. Perry *is* running for president rather than just the nomination. Some people do the latter, using the primary race to help expand their future wealth via books and lectures (think Newt Gingrich) or as a publicity venue for their crackpot ideological agendas (think Santorum). But Perry considers himself–and in the last presidential cycle was groomed by some in the party to be–a breakout figure that could win the national election. That’s why he’s been trying so hard to highlight business/economic issues in states like New York and California. But he’s too much of an idiot to focus and keep his trap shut.

  3. Perry is just a low-end wannabe who the dems will treat as a front runner.

    I’m hoping Joey “Da Mout” Biden runs, so we can continue the sheer genius of the present administration.