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Between 9 p.m. tonight (Friday) and 6 a.m. Monday, all lanes –– northbound and southbound –– of I-35W between North Fort Worth and Denton will be closed for crews to demolish a bridge as part of a future expansion project, the $1.4 billion North Tarrant Express.

So. What brings you to sunny Denton County this weekend? Def Leggend at Hat Tricks? The Frisco Farmers’ Market? “Ego Fridays” (?) at Blue Martini?

Just kidding. Denton is great, and I bet some Fort Worthians have their eyes on that Delmore Pilcrow/Diabolical Machines/Missing Sibling show at Rubber Gloves tomorrow night. If you find that you must, just simply must, make the trek from Le Fort to Little D between tonight and Sunday, here are some travel recommendations.

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1.) Try 377 through Keller. It’ll be slow (lots of traffic lights), but it won’t be nearly as slow as finding yourself behind 10 million other vehicles being diverted into the untamed wilds just north of Western-Center Boulevard. (If you end up on 35 and crack under the pressure, direct your vehicle to Flips Patio Grill on Fossil Bluff Drive for a tall draft and a Big Juicy, or swing into the 24-Hour Fitness on Western-Center to blast your lats and delts.)

2.) Stay home. Denton County –– and The Diabolical Machines and Def Leggend –– will still exist next weekend.

Tell your friends. Or don’t.

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