Doesn’t ‘the man’ know that putting up signs forbidding skating only encourages skaters? Skateboarding is banned in Sundance Square Plaza, where ESPN has set up shop this week for its coverage of the college football playoff championship game. But that didn’t stop three teens from rolling through the area, stopping for only the occasional ollie and some light loitering.

The trio looked as though they were plucked out of an ‘80s movie, with sprawling bangs reaching out from beneath their knitted hats, wearing baggy jeans and long- sleeved shirts underneath short-sleeved shirts, as if to say “the cold weather can’t change who I am.”

The teens initially refused to speak to Fort Worth Weekly, calling the 37-year-old reporter an “old man.” They were also unimpressed upon learning the reporter used to skate when he was their age.


It wasn’t until the reporter pretended not to care that the three wouldn’t speak to him that one of the skaters consented.

“We’re not hurting anyone or damaging any property,” said their leader, a lanky blonde kid with so many acne scars it looked like a Braille transcription of the Magna Carta.

The other two hoisted their boards in the resting position to join the interview, but resumed skateboarding the moment the discussion turned to football.

“You’ve got to follow the money,” the blonde teen said inexplicably.

As a Fort Worth Police officer approached, the three fled, despite earlier insisting they had done nothing wrong.

“Fuck you,” one of the fleeing skaters said to the reporter, who scuttled to a nearby Starbucks in order to avoid scrutiny by the approaching officer.