Southern Methodist University has asked the 43rd president of the United States to give the commencement address this year.
Were they unaware that our 43rd president was George W. Bush?
They could have looked that up on Wikipedia and saved themselves some embarrassment.
Blotch got its hands on a copy of Bush’s speech:
As I stand here looking out at this room filled with bright faces and futures, it makes me think the future is still ahead of us. And it’s bright. Kind of like down at the ranch in Crawford. Laura says, ‘George, that back 40 needs tending today,’ and I say, ‘Well, that fishing line needs tending too, honey.’ Hee-hee. She’s a hoot. But irregardless, a lot of folks me and Laura’s age misunderestimate the youth of ‘Merica. But I don’t not misunderestimate anybody in the younger generation. Your wings are about to take dream, and, boy, it couldn’t have come along at a more opportunistical time in our history. Instead of weapons of mass destruction, y’all will be weapons of un-destruction, nucular weapons of hope. I’d like to say more but I’m painting a picture of Barney eating a bone and I need to get back home to that. I’m calling it “Barney Eats A Bone.” One day when y’all have finished your careers and are ready to kick back at your ranches and mansions and look back on your lives, you can paint too. I used to think, ‘Did I do the right think in starting the longest war in our history based on faulty evidence about weapons of mass destruction, or lie about it to convince everybody to approve, then watch my rich buddies get richer through profiteering, implement a Patriot Act, establish secret prisons, arrest and hold people for months and years without being charged, and oversee the biggest financial collapse since the Great Depression?’ But, golly, thinking about all that is about as much fun as spooning a porcupine; I think I’ll just paint a kitty cat.’