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Recently I was circling downtown Dallas streets looking for a curbside parking space, but they were all full. When I finally saw an empty spot under a nice shade tree, I whipped in, parked, filled the meter with coins, and went on my way.

Whilst I was taking care of business, so were thousands of little black grackles aka spawns of Satan.

I returned a couple of hours later to find my red truck re-painted a squishy yellow-white thanks to the tiny but hard-working rectums of all those grackles. The tree should have been marked as a Grackle Porta-Potty.

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Fort Worth is less tolerant of bird poop. City officials pay a company to scare away the birds with propane cannons, lasers, and hawks.

Thanks, Fort Worth. Keep it up.

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