If you’re a casual sports fan who thinks that people who watch the NFL draft on TV are weirdos, you should know that a lot of us around the world stay up late at night to watch the World Cup draw. The 2026 version happened today at the Kennedy Center in Washington, D.C. All it is is old white men pulling slips of paper out of a plastic container, but, y’know, sports.
We now know whom the 42 teams that have already qualified will be playing against, as well as the teams that grab the six remaining slots. The conventional wisdom is that Team USA enjoyed some good luck with the draw — indeed, Coach Mauricio Pochettino publicly warned our guys against complacency once the results were public. Though I hate to agree with conventional wisdom, that’s where I am, too.
Two of the three teams that USA will face next summer are Paraguay and Australia. USA defeated Australia in a friendly match only two months ago, so there’s some familiarity. Furthermore, Aussie central defender Kye Rowles and defensive midfielder Aiden O’Neill play in MLS and have seen many of USA’s players on a weekly basis. The Socceroos’ roster contains a lot of guys playing in the second division of England or Germany, and their record in qualifying included a loss to Bahrain and a goalless draw with Indonesia.
Paraguay looks to be a tougher proposition. Their central defense is the heart of their team, with Gustavo Gómez captaining both his country and his club team at Palmeiras, while Omar Alderete is his very rugged defensive partner who played the last two seasons at Getafe before moving to Sunderland in the English Premier League. Offensively, they’ll rely on the mercurial Miguel Almirón, a tricky playmaker who generally lines up on the right and is back at Atlanta United after some fruitful seasons at Newcastle.
The third opponent will be the winner of the mini-bracket in European qualifying that includes Türkiye, Romania, Slovakia, and Kosovo. While it would be awesome to see Kosovo qualify for their first-ever World Cup, the Turks have considerably more talent than the other three. Real Madrid’s Arda Güler and Juventus’ Kenan Yıldız spearhead their attack, and Hakan Çalhanoǧlu (the team captain from Inter Milan) plays behind them as a table-setter with a deadly left foot.
While this may not amount to an easy group, it could have been much worse. As one of the tournament’s three host nations, USA was given a top seed, so there was never any chance of us facing Brazil, Spain, or defending champions Argentina. Even so, the countries in the second pot included storied Croatia, Morocco (the surprise package from 2022), and the winner of the mini-bracket that includes Italy. Instead of Australia, the third pot could have served up a South Korea team with the great Son Heung-min or yet another matchup with Ghana or an Austria team that’s loaded with Bundesliga players. The last pot contained some real opponents to avoid in the always borderline-dirty Uruguay and a Norway squad with maybe the scariest offense in the whole field.
The playoff games to determine the last six spots will take place in Mexico this March. With 48 countries competing (including first-timers Curaçao, Uzbekistan, Jordan, and the Cape Verde Islands), this tournament will feature more matches than any World Cup before it. AT&T Stadium will host nine games, including one of the semifinals.
And Donald Trump will be sure to shoehorn his way into the proceedings at every opportunity. He was at the draw to receive the very first FIFA Peace Prize, a made-up award given out without consulting fans or FIFA’s board of governors because FIFA president Gianni Infantino has a record of cozying up to dictators. Trump took the opportunity to side with some snarky America-hating British people and say that we should stop calling American football “football” because the ball is so rarely kicked. The big soccer party comes to our shores this summer, and if Jeffrey Epstein’s good buddy doesn’t spoil it, he’ll certainly do his best.
