The Dirdie Birdie, 2821 Morton St, Fort Worth. 817-479-2900. 11am-11pm Sun, 3pm-11pm Tue-Wed, 3pm-2am Thu-Fri, 11am-2am Sat.
A-well-a bird, bird, bird might be the word, but an out-of-town newcomer recently perched on West 7th in the former Bottled Blonde space. The Dirdie Birdie is the second location of this indoor mini-golf experience with colorful art and striking visualizations which really comes to life with a little organic assistance *cough, cough*, which makes sense considering the first location is planted in Austin.
The dining area along with a patio and wraparound bar are spacious enough to accommodate date nights or busy crowds and fitted with plenty of TVs, making it an ideal spot to catch sports and grab a bite and beverage. First, you might as well work up a sweat hitting tiny white balls before consuming your weight in food and booze.
This 12-hole course appears easy, but it will test both your athleticism and patience, as I had several meltdowns after racking up football scores on Par 3 holes. Each green is individually themed: a Stockyards motif, brass instruments reflecting Funkytown’s jazz heritage, and the Horned Frogs because TCU.
Before hitting full stride, my guest and I ordered beverages to ease the tension that comes with competition. The cocktail menu was created by Travis Tober, the mind behind Nickel City and too many other bars to list. If putt-putt is cool enough for him, it’s cool enough for you. A frozen margarita with a bright and tart undertone due to orange pekoe tea (which is void of citrus) was as refreshing inside as it would’ve been baking under the sun on an outside course. A riff on the Arnold Palmer named the Strawnold Palmer was a solid drink thanks to the addition of Giffard Fraise des Bois, a French liqueur made with macerated wild strawberries which adds an intense depth without artificial candy-like flavors.
Photo by Cody Neathery
As we pushed our way through swingin’ saloon doors and wandered through an electric desert with shimmering cacti and into the opening of a cave modeled after a panther’s mouth, I began wondering when the Mad Hatter was going to welcome us into this Western wonderland. Yes, the organics were doing the trick.
My guest and I completed our game and pulled up leather chairs at the bar. The buildout reminded me of a gilded-age country club. The forest-green walls and minimal sports memorabilia spruce up the room, while herringbone-wood flooring surrounds tiled squares that enclose the bar.
The menu reads as that of an above-average bar, though the execution fired a couple of missed shots. Many on the Shareables are familiar, such as crispy Brussels sprouts, bang-bang Asian shrimp, loaded tots, and Nashville Chicken sliders, but my guest and I kept it simple with pigs in a blanket, queso blanco, and yellowfin tuna tostadas.
Photo by Cody Neathery
The li’l wieners were wrapped in toasty croissant bread topped with sesame seeds and served with a chimichurri dip that was a bit too oily, which stole from the herbaceous flavor. Otherwise, the piggies themselves were perfect.
The queso blanco’s flavor was spot on and came topped with elote, which added zest, but, unfortunately, by the time it was served, the dip was room temperature, and its thickness was snapping chips. We were told it came that way, but knowing better, we sent it back, and the cheese returned hot and melty as it should be.
The tuna tostada was plated well, but the freshness of the fish was robbed by an abundance of avocado spread and oily salsa negra that didn’t provide the oomph we were hankering for.
Our next round of cocktails included a Paloma on the Green, with grapefruit oleo saccharum giving a rich essence of grapefruit and Giffard Pamplemousse grapefruit liqueur made naturally, thus removing the bitter aftertaste. We also ordered the Mulligan Mule, a standard Moscow mule but with passion fruit, which added a silky breath of fresh air.
Outside of Dirdie Birdie’s three 12-inch pizza offerings, the menu casually flirts with being upscale by listing an 8-ounce prime Denver steak accompanied by frites; 24-hour coffee-braised short rib; and grilled salmon, which we ordered, providing for a healthy shift from the Double Dirdie Wagyu burger also on the way.
Photo by Cody Neathery
The salmon was finished perfectly, lightly charred and coming apart with little effort. Here, the chimichurri topping was opposite of the oily version received earlier and complemented the fish well. That, scooped with the cilantro lime rice and roasted curry tomatoes, tied it together nicely.
The double smash Wagyu burger is worth a return trip alone or when barhopping along West 7th. The cheddar cheese encompassed both juicy patties intertwined with griddled onions and pickles and resting in a buttery brioche bun.
With all the makings of a fun night out, the Dirdie Birdie is a welcome change, providing actual activity compared to the workaday clubs dotting the neighborhood. A single game takes approximately 45 minutes, and reservations are recommended.
The Dirdie Birdie
Grilled salmon $25
Dirdie Wagyu burger $17
Tuna tostadas $17
Queso blanco $12
Pigs in a Blanket $11
Dirdie Margarita $15
Paloma on the Green $14
Strawnold Palmer $13
Mulligan Mule $13
