Margarita Maddest

1
Posted April 16, 2014 by LAST CALL in Clubs
Last Call

My hunt for the perfect –– or at least the least gross –– margarita started in Arlington, specifically at J. Gilligan’s (400 E. Abram St., 817-274-8561), a downtown area sports bar that’s been around since at least the ’90s, which in terms of bar life spans is practically forever. I went there for lunch, admittedly not the best choice. It’s not that J. Gilligan’s food is bad, but if you want bean-and-cheese nachos on slightly burned chips, they’re a lot easier and cheaper to make at home, or at least they are if it’s not 3 a.m. and you’re sober. The last time I’d been there was probably a decade ago, maybe more. I got dragged along to The Ticket’s Guys’ Night Out or some such, and I remember getting beaten down by that baby arm bit really quickly.

I also drank a ton, and now J. Gilligan’s doesn’t seem as spacious as my early-2000s memory seemed to suggest. I mean, it’s a huge bar connected to a similarly sized restaurant, but could the layout (more like a pub than concert hall) accommodate several legions of Ticketheads (or P1s, if you’re a listener)? I’m sure someone has an answer. I probably won’t find out. In any case, I ate some lackluster nachos on the restaurant side and drank a beer and a shot in the bar half. It’s easy to get lost between the two, since the entire place is wall-to-wall with horizontal fence boards and neon beer signs. I thought it was just me, but when I left, a server gave me directions to the parking lot with the intonation of someone who has to do that 10 times a day.

But I didn’t leave until I’d had some fun on the bar side. The small crowd of regulars was affable and welcoming –– when I barged in, they were talking about something that had been on my mind lately: margaritas. I offered that I didn’t like ’em, no sir. I hate the sour mix. This dude named Bradley, who said he runs the Bar Louie in Arlington, clued me in on a trick he thought might help: Replace half the sour mix with a concoction of equal parts orange juice and Sprite.

I decided immediately that I wanted to try it, so I slammed my drink, got up, got in my car, and drove to Goody Goody Liquor on Camp Bowie Boulevard for supplies. A crust-punk, or a really stereotypically punk kid, studded black vest, bad B.O., and all, camped near the front doors tried talking to me, but I gleefully walked past him and his spiel about being a representative of the Church of Malt Liquor and soldiered on in search of margarita crap. I was on a mission after all, but more than that, crust-punks are the worst.

Being in a good mood, though, I thought, “Maybe I’ll buy him a quart of something cheap and gross,” but Goody Goody didn’t have any pounders of Steel Reserve. But then, on my way to the tequila aisle, this guy with a bottle of NUE Vodka in his hand asked me if he could have a dollar, which immediately soured me on any donations, even if mine was going to be something nasty and made purely of spite.

At home, free of beggars and excited about finding a cure for the common margarita, I set to work. That Bradley dude said his recipe was fine with well tequila, but I wouldn’t give well tequila to a crust-punk’s dog (unless it paid for it). I mixed Herradura Silver with a splash of Sprite and a bit of O.J., as well as some organic triple sec (because organic means you care about things) and Margaritaville-brand margarita mix. Bradley’s recipe called for On the Border’s mix or Mrs. T’s, but I prefer to help Jimmy Buffett buy more airplanes. Bradley also said to use three slices of limes, but I just cut one lime in half and gave it a hard squeeze.

The first ’rita was OK, but I still winced at the cloying taste of sour mix. Is a margarita still a margarita without it? It is if you say it is, so I told myself I would enjoy a margarita with only Sprite, triple sec, O.J., and lime. And it was good, though after two of them, I could feel my blood sugar dropping, meaning the drunchies weren’t far behind. More bean-and-cheese nachos would’ve totally hit the spot. Next time I’ll just stay in Arlington and get drunk. –– Steve Steward

Contact Last Call at lastcall@fwweekly.com.


One Comment


  1.  

    Greate post. Keep posting such kind of info on your site.

    Im really impressed by your blog.
    Hey there, You have performed an excellent job. I’ll certainly digg it
    and in my view recommend to my friends. I’m sure they will be benefited from this website.





Leave a Response

(required)


+ nine = 16