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Everyone avoids Southwest Fort Worth for all of the obvious reasons. I mean, where else in town are you going to run into the type of person who enjoys spending an entire Saturday getting his dad’s Beamer washed, then picking up crab cream, getting fake-baked, working out, and then boozing hard, all within an area no bigger than a football field?

But come the holidays, when you can no longer stomach the rat maze-ish malls Hulen and Ridgmar, you’re going to find yourself tooling around Dante’s ninth circle of Hell, a.k.a. Cityview. (The neighborhood is small, but – whatever you do – don’t dare walk there. If you’re not in a building, you’re probably in the middle of a highway. Sidewalks in Cityview are as rare as Democrats.) The good news is that there are a couple of watering holes that may make the trip palatable.

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Woody’s Tavern is easily the coolest Cityview haunt. Bryan Beckman’s place would probably stand out in any Fort Worth neighborhood, but, in Cityview, the high-ceilinged, sports-friendly establishment – buttressed by a Tom Thumb and a Chick-Fil-A – is slacker-hippie mecca. Business, obviously, is booming. Beckman is currently toying with the idea of adding a kitchen and expanding over the next few months.

The other spot worth a visit is The Keg Steakhouse & Bar. Yes, the hang-out has its problems – sharing a parking lot with mega-corporations Best Buy and Cavender’s Boot City, the Top-40 crap on the radio, the lack of booze hound-friendly specials. But the place looks like a way-hip Colorado ski chalet, the service is excellent, and there’s a cigar-friendly section that has a fireplace. The Keg is kind of the best of both worlds. It’s upper-crusty to keep the meatheads out but not pretentious enough to keep the cool, down-to-earth folks away.

Gobble, Garble

Just when you thought this past Halloween’s costume parties were gross manifestations of Western snobbery and capitalist gluttony, now comes Turkey Day.

Most clubs party hearty on Thanksgiving Eve, the night on which hundreds if not thousands of people who used to live here but have moved away alight en masse from assorted 747’s; these tired, thirsty people, naturally, have only one thing on their minds – getting hammered. Shit, you got to: After the dreadful experience of traveling by plane during the holidays, you need a little something to take the edge off and prepare you to (gulp!) face the family.

But this Thanksgiving, Halo is letting the big downtown clubs handle the Wednesday-night therapy cases. The TCU area’s answer to the Torch is looking to commandeer Thanksgiving day (Nov. 24) in an ostensible play to corner the market on the real drinkers. The upstart club isn’t just giving away peace pipes (that’s right – peace pipes), it’s also offering $2 you-call-its and $1 Jell-O shots to accidentally spill on your hot distant cousin’s roommate’s neighbor’s chest. What better way to say “thanks”? You’re welcome.

Contact Last Call at lastcall@fwweekly.com.

Woody’s Tavern
4744 Bryant Irvin Rd, FW. 817-732-4936.

The Keg Steakhouse & Bar
5760 SW Loop 820, FW. 817-731-3534.

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